<body> -learn to love myself more than anything- <body>
Thursday, October 29, 2009

pain is the word for the day.
HAHAHAS. probably only several of you would understand this word.
and would also understand why i would say pain is the word for the day.

quite dumb la.
but i was damn angry with love yesterday for things which he has done and felt that he isnt at fault in the first place.
i was angry because he promised something like 30 MINS ago, and yet he broke it after 30 MINS.
hurting enough.
sometimes i really dun like his circle of friends, because they will only lead him astray instead of guiding him into the correct path etc etc.
but i also know that he has every of his rights to mix with people whom he wan,
therefore i chose to keep quiet.

smoke.
drink.
chalets,
BBQ,
friends birthday etc etc,
are all with those who will smoke and then smoke.
his stupid friends even ask him to keep things from me like for instance,
he smoke,
dun tell me,
because if he doesnt tell me,
i would NEVER EVER knows it.
they think im dumb enough.-_-
but luckily, i thank god that love din do anything.
lucky that love chose to tell me everything and chose not to keep things from me.
ya, right, YOU ARE SO DAMN 'WEI DA'.
should i thank you a million times for being so 'wei da'?
well, i doubt so?

im still struggling between work and whether i should continue to work.
things isnt going smoothly at work.
yes, i have chose to run away from it.
i wanted to learn as much as i can de,
but then,
i really cant find the correct mood or concentrations to do so.
really tired out.
felt like giving up, but then boss told me something,
freddy also told me something,
that makes me realised that there is a solution to everything,
that everyone has their problems,
it is about wat you are going to do to solve it instead of running away from it.
marcus also told me that i should really think about wat i really wan in life,
if now at this moment,
all i wan is to earn more money, to let my family lead a better life,
then i have to put in double the effort to work double hard.

love:
im sorry that if i were to put all my heart and soul into work,
i would have lesser time for you,
and i also know that you are going to go into the NS soon,
and hoping that i would have more time with you.
i have married myself to work,
and also to you,
i will balance things out so that you would not be neglected.
i promise you those things,
i will make sure i do it/them..'unlike you'.
at this moment, i cant think too much.
i just wanna focus on work,
earn more $$, then at least, we can enjoy ourselves and i can still buy you a NISSAN FAIRLADy to drive,
otherwise, i would have to rob NISSAN le,
because i got no capital.
and im very sure, you know i really hope to obtain my license then go for further studies,
and i also know that watever decisions i make,
you will always support me.
rmb our times?(MARATHON)
then you will know how sweet and loving we can be.
for any reasons in this world; i will never leave you,
althought i HATE LIVERPOOL, but im still gonna say this, YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE.
thank you for always being there whenever i had my hardest times,
at least, you have never abandon me during those hard times.

i will focus more on work & in building a stronger and sweeter relationship with my dearest love.
because, for him, ANYTHING I WILL.
boss, rest assure that i will work double hard, and i really do not wish to disappoint anyone of you anymore.
i will make sure that my performance at work, would sustain and that i will learn more to soar to even greater heights((:
FANGXIN BAHS((:

4 5683 826 7464 94264.
love((: im sure you know wats this((:
muacks.

I went off @ 6:20 PM