<body> -learn to love myself more than anything- <body>
Tuesday, November 17, 2009

days with him seems getting more & more sian.
dunno why.
but i just feel damn sian.
i have to work hard because everything needs money now.
money really resticts alot of things.
at home, only me, my brother & my daddy is working, others all staying at home.
& my stupid sister is wasting money like practically everyday.
even the most basic thing like sparing aside some to buy my fav thing, i also cant.
it was really a great disappointment.
but it made me realised that i cannot rely on anyone, because nobody will help me, and no money will fall from the sky. i have to work hard for every single cent i need to give to the family, and to have spare for myself.

when love asked me, why i so sian sian,
i really dunno how to answer him.
because i dun wan to let him know that i really isnt enjoying myself anymore comparing to the past.
because no matter where we are going, is all i suggest, i want to go, and not he think of where to go.
i dunno how to tell him how exactly i feel.
how i wish there would ever be someone whom can understand me.
like how he used to understand me, even when i just keep quiet.
instead of telling me that why we like that etc etc,
i guess, you should find a solution to this problem.
i really dun enjoy going out with you anymore, i dun wan go out with you. i dun like!

*winnie-you have to rely on your own, work hard for everything you wan, work hard for this family.*
bf isnt supposed to be the one who will always be there, no matter wat happens?
im confused.

I went off @ 10:45 PM