-learn to love myself more than anything-

the end of my 20102010

Friday, November 12, 2010

i came to realised that.
i have really broken down le. i have really did my best to hold on, to hang on.
i thought you would change like what you told me.
i did changed! but what do i get?!
do i seriously deserve all these shouting, screamings and vulgarities?!
i just wanna be happy like how i used to be! why is it so difficult?! because of one word you say,
i did everything i could.
i still cant! i still failed!
i love you more than anything, yes! i may be possessive, but i lost you once! and you know how does it feels like?!
now, everything mei you le! i just hope for the best for you,
just hope that things will be happier and life would be back to how you want it to be, and not how i wanted it to be.
it isnt the time for me to say or do anything now.
you want me to accept them, but everytime they see us quarrel, i also paiseh.
you go your own way ba.

i gotta say whats on my mind,
something bout us doesnt seemed right these days,
life keeps getting in the way,
no matter how i try,
somehow the plan, is always rearranged!
its so hard to say, but i gotta do whats best for me, you'll be okay.

dont wanna leave it all behind,
i get my hopes up and i watch them fall everytime.
you came inside, slamming everything inside the room,
what else can i say? can i still say i wish for you to stay? can i still ask you not to go?
would everything still be the same after you stay?
why are you still so fierce?
why are you still so attitude?
i just wanna hug you and i just hope things would be back to normal again. is it really hard?
there is nobody i could turn to, i just wanna tell you how i feel,
but would you still bother to listen to me?
are frens all really so important that you can just simply ignore me?
sorry.
maybe i wasnt the one that you wanted fromo the start. sorry to have wasted your time and effort.

or maybe, i simply deserve everything today.
goodbye my love.
take care.
you will live better.

I went off @ 11:56 PM