winnie-

forgive without punishing, promise without forgetting.

2011-12-15T16:32:00.002+08:00

okay! I know that my blog is almost dead, seriously, at times I really don't know the reason why I would ever want to blog. Perhaphs its because I wanted to save memories in which I can look back probably a few years from now and go and think about how stupid things used to be and how stupid I have behaved? lols!
I love to say that life have been really good for me except those things which I have seen them as "ruining" my life in the past as to "being used to it" now in my life :D - I know, it's chimalogy! HAHAHAHAS!

been really good for the past month?
I guess I have been saying that I am busy with my work, busy with every single thing, and I realised that there are certain things in life which I don't find them bothering anymore and I guess each of us have their own ways or rather own plans for life? Sometimes I wish... I could turn back the clock and make up for certain things which I know till today, it still is.......etched. I don't know why I can never move on and stop thinking about what happened in the past and regrets things that happened when everyone else could do the same thing but not me? Like wasting my time in the past for stupid things rather than concentrating on my studies? or political issues? (okay, its having politics in schools and stuffs?) everything is damn childish to me.. at least I realised it now? lols!

forget about those things!(:
I have a wish list to complete before Christmas and I hope this Christmas would be a different one, would give me a new life without having to think about all those things, able to completely forget them? - till then....
everyday would still be the same for me as long as there is him(: Christmas and new year's resolution will all come together soon(:

& oh! ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS 3 IS SO DAMN AWESOME!(: WATCH IT WATCH IT!!**

to love is, forgive without punishing, promise without forgetting.

time have been passing real and way too fast for me! oh gosh!

2011-11-18T22:42:00.003+08:00

I got to say; I am not a good owner, I neglected my blog! I guess spent too much time working and accompanying my bf at the same time -.-"

Anyways, Heres a update of what have been happening in my life ever since the last time I have been blogging..
OCT - awesome month, filled with busy days, busy meet ups, busy planning and organizing people's 21st Bday. And I have got to say, my cousin's 21st birthday was GREAT!~
2 years of ups and downs with the one I love and those special surprises, I would never forget!(:

Nov 05 - Suzana's 21st Birthday(just in case you are wondering who is she, she is Alvin's gf..)
Damn fun, because there are a lot of people! like the whole chalet flooded with people.. Gave a LONGCHAMP bag as her 21st bday gift and really glad to hear that she loves it(: Although its nothing really costly, but I think its the thought that counts? teehee!

Nov 06 onwards, work work work and work(:
Celebrated Adrian's birthday pathetically at the street soccer court with love, bought him a birthday cake and all photos are up on fb! They actually ram-ed him with the soccer boy! hahaha! I was hoping that he would simplyy just get whacked 20times in the face la! LOLS... just kidding!!

did my massage, and my beautiful nails. Nails have been changing every month! Haha! I am so damn in love with gelish nails right now, I will show you all the photos soon? Hopefully I can post them on fb and show you all!(: I checked thru my schedule everytime when people wanna meet up with me, because every minute of them is damn super precious to me!! HAHAHA! like some business woman ya? I also think so, but my life like different leh!

upcoming - USS!! YAYEE!! 2D1N STAY AT HARD ROCK HOTEL TOO!! YAYEEEEE(:
Finally on leave to enjoy myself ttm!! But the saddest thing is I am becoming a nanny for the upcoming week! OMG~ somebody please save me!!

p.s: I enjoy myself whenever i am with you, I hope you are enjoying your time with me too..

2 years and counting(:♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-10-21T21:27:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSARY MY HANDSOME BOY!
♥

Hellos!!
'20'10'2011 marks our meaningful 2 years of ups and downs.. Happiness & sorrows..
instead of doing something really meaningful and touching, something which is full of memories.. I wanted something simple, nice and just a day to spend time with each other.. Its been really awhile since we have a heart to heart talk with one another.. something sad happened on that day but i am glad that he din make this whole thing so sad.. He still remembered that I wanna go and build a bear myself, with a Winnie the pooh costume.. He told me this before: "everytime when I see a Winnie the Pooh, I will thought of you, the first thing that comes to my mind is you and all your collections of pooh" which I have always remembered and whenever I thought of it, I will smile to myself without even a reason..

Thanks for always being so damn sweet and although I have been unreasonable sometimes, you tolerated with all the nonsense..seriously speaking, I cant believed we have come so far.. I am listening to Charice's song which reminds me of you..I know that fishing have always been your life, but can you please make me your priority? HAHA! I am very greedy one wor.. But frankly.. this heart, have never died.. because you were always there.. No matter what you have done which really hurts me ttm at times, I just want you to know that you have always been the one I loved, the one whom I would cry over, the one whom I will cherish things bought by..

hubby: Thank you for always loving me.. I know that you loved me a lot, you just do not know how to priorities your things at times.. This relationship is built up with tears, with laughters, with quarrels, with blood, with bruise with a lot a lot more! But I cherish you more and more as each time things happened and we have managed to overcome them and solve them.. I hope you will too?

Okay.. enough of things about me and my fantastic ♥
Off day 2 days straight with him is just more than awesome!(: have been really catching a lot of movies this month..
- Johnny English (Funny, but then quite bored?)
- Change up (MUST WATCH~ damn niceeeeee)
- Real Steel (Atom is damn AWESOME!!)
and and and .... baking in two days is just nothing but GREAT! been baking cupcakes and cookies lately for my cousin's 21st birthday party which my goodie goodie fren told me that 21st birthday is not some kids party, why on earth I would wanna bake cupcakes or cookies.. LOLS.. at first I thought he was right, but then WHO CARES!! hahaha!! My cousin's birthday also not his.. aiyah! why 21st Birthday cannot have cookies or cupcakes leh?

Okay! my annoying bf is back disturbing me after his chat with his fishing kaki -.-" annoying indeed! shaking my face for nothing.. GTG, I will be back to update more about the upcoming cousin's birthday!!(: Stay Tune folks!~

love is in the air(:

2011-10-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

wow! I feel that I am damn amazing because I blog only two weeks once :P LOLS.. I have been really busy lately, busy helping my love cousin(auntie in fact due to some retarded generation thingy) planning and organzing her 21st bday which is like around the corner? Also have been planning for our 2ndyear anniversary for me and love:D.

Time passes really fast, from the day he went into army, till he POP, until now he is going to ORD liao, we are still together. A lot of ups and downs, a HUGE mixture of unhappiness and happiness but still I love him more than words. When I really need support during really hard and bad times for me, he is always there though at times he might be quite pissed off with me, seeing me so upset and angry or even cry for things, he will get angry. I know his angry because he doesnt wants me to be sad about anything, he loves to see me smile which I think thats what all guys would want their gf to be ya?
Thank you sweetie, for everything, for all the things which you tried to change yourself for me and I really LOVED your attitude and temper now, no matter how angry you are, you would not vent them on me like how you used to be.. Thank you for pampering me with all the branded goods and materialistics stuffs which I really appreciate them, and I love you(: work has been really awesome! you would never wanna imagine how was my sales like for the past couple of months. **DOUBLE** each month is really a gift from god that gave me strength to do better each month and able to maintain my double achieved results. That's really a very proud achievement which I would hear love praising me(: Glad, so glad that I have love and god being there for me.. Family issues, nah.. not a really good time to talk about it because it spoils mood ttm(: But I know I had them all under controlled :D *hang on there Winnie, it will always be sunshine after a really bad and horrible thunderstorm*

I will continue to jiayou.. Meanwhile.....tonnes of things in my to do list to complete *phew*
- 2nd Year Anniversary surprise for love
- Surprise party for XJ on 19th MIDNIGHT, with coussys & sissy(:
- Planning for love coussy's 21st Bday - Hitting at least 35K for my this month's target and I will have enough to go HONGKONG/KRABI soon! I really neeeeeed a getaway BADLY~ ):

loves~

it's never about how you feel that matters, is about how sensitive you are towards other's feelings

2011-10-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

hellos!!
I am still pretty much alive.. Have been really lazy to post on the blog because my life is just like a drama. Everyday things are going hay wire ): Have finally turned 20 like last month but unhappy thing happened to me on my bday.. lost something precious to me which after that love got me a exact same thing to coax me so that I will not ponder so much over them..

Went to SATA today for the stupid tuberculosis test/checkup, all thanks to the stupid colleague whom is diagnose with it and causing so many inconvenience to us and got jab for nothing -.-" love even cursed me that I would kena TB, so that he can tio quarantine and then MC all the way until ORD! LOLS..
then again.. things also haven been really on the right track with love, but as things are improving, he just have to make me damn upset again... His friend's Bday is this coming Friday, yes, as usual, I would need to work.. 2 different friend and 2 different party done by different group of friends.. I am upset because I dun want him to go drink, go meet his ex-girlfriend, and that girl(H). He never cares about how I will feel.. YES~ I am going out on Friday with my friends too, but at least he can 100% trust me that I will not do anything, but I dunno why I just cant? Am I just being too selfish or am I really so lacking of confidence for myself which it shouldn't be happening!~

Can anyone tell me what I should do right now? Why am I becoming like this? Am I worried that he will just dump me behind again like he have always been doing? Puzzled!!!~ I need a clearer mind right now.. I dun wanna think so much, I will just sleep and hope my heart will feel better and also minimise the quarrels..

love: I hope you see this and really understand how I feel, forgive me for being so no confidence in myself, but please never make me feel so upset and in a dilemma again?

busy busy!

2011-08-29T15:52:00.002+08:00

pheww! damn bloody busy these few days.

Okay. Updates of things which happen the past few days to me and things around me(:

-Withness a man whose whole face was bleeding, as though just got a fight with someone and he is right beside me & love, drunk, and helpless. He stood up and fell on his head also right infront of me and the zebra crossing, went up wanting to help, another guy told me not to then realised he have already reported to the police. its damn bloody scary. Bad Friday ):

- Stay home whole day with love on sat is the best thing ever because early in the morning, a nice rainy morning, that idiotic fellow woke me up to go with him to NUH to see doctor. Then we went for our lunchie downstairs my house, and at night, mum cooked fish slice bee hoon for us and he went to buy MOCHI for me:D ya, and the price for paying after eatiing the mochi is watch him going for his midnight fishing again with his dad and frens -.-" I swear I dislike mochi now... *&%$#!!*&$#@

- Helping GWC to fight for their final few days to hit their targets isn't easy man.. but thank god I managed to do something for them!:D

*but i seriously dun understand why is Monday such a busy day for me?

Am so damn looking forward to 4th Sept onwards, going to have lots of fun, time spending with love and looking after my retarded baby cousin when my parents all go genting -.-

preparing my whole entire lists of things to buy for the steamboat-ing at my place sooOOOOOoooon, and also prepare a list of wishes for my upcoming XXth Birthday! HAHAHAHAHAS.

Need sometime to rest... I AM TIRED! ):

isnt a new month supposed to be a brand new beginning?

2011-08-04T17:32:00.003+08:00

Hi there,

The history repeats itself again.
I told dad today about the money issues which have always been a issue, yet he flar up(as usual) and became total insane which apparently, he doesn't listens to anything I say -.-"
Why is it that adults all can't or rather dunno how to be rational? I mean, I am just telling him about my difficulties about money and that I need extra cash with me to save up for certain things and can't really give him much... Oh come on! dear dad, its not as if I am not giving you a single cent which I can see for myself that in this home, I am just being used for.. Nobody truly appreciates my pressence. So can anyone tell me, what's the point in contributing somemore? more than anyone else could ever think of!

By contributing to this family doesn't mean that I have owe it to them.
you may be my parents, but the thing is, shouldn't you guys take a step back and see how huge the burden I am carrying now?Everybody works so that they have enough to spend, have extra money for rainy days etc etc, but what about me?
I really have the urge to leave this house, but I know, now isn't the time yet.. Have to wait for love's place to be done before I could move over.. I can't please everybody, neither can anybody have the best of both world, I have to learn to be selfish, have to stop being so filial when nobody appreciates it at all.. They just took me for a ATM ):

They seriously dunno how sad I felt when in their eyes, money is all that matter!
HELLO!! can you all stop being so realistic? is money really everything? with money, doesn't mean you own the entire world, and it does not mean you can buy ALL things with money!
I begin to envy people/you guys out there whom dun have to contribute to the family and can still live happily.. I really am so tired! tired of others before self. Tired of contributing so much over the years!

I need a break......
**seriously a looooooongggggg breakkkkkk, away from the realistic world..

I can fake a smile when I feel horrible. I can pretend to be happy when i am sad.

2011-07-27T10:54:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILIAN!

Hope you would love this cake which I have baked for you(:

Baked this cake for Lilian's 26th birthday yesterday, celebrated with her also!

everyone was curious how i baked it,

if i have the time, i shall do a shot video clip and show it to you guys!

HAHAHAS(:

Nothing to really talk about, just some photos which I haven been posting them(:

Relationship is going good for me?

just that i have to balance it out among a lot of things and I am SOOoooo tired!

1 year 9 months and counting is really damn damn long!

OMG, i cant even believe that we have come so far :D

OKAY. i took this photo like on my prada wallet? went to the park with my little babies when the sun was killing up ttm.. so have to find a really nice background for such nice photos :D

& more....

OMG!! my hair looks retarded!

thank you life, life have been really nice to be.

things which i have always thought and fear that it would get out of hand eventually din..

everybody was asking me,

why you dun want to continue studies, why dun want to study full time? why want to work?

you have been out of school for so long? studies very important etc etc..

but to me, ultimately, without money, life cannot goes on..

even with a Degree Holder like my mum's fren's kids, cant find job.

but i am contented with what i have now...

family background not really rich is not something which we can demand or change,

all i can do is to earn more, to let my family and myself suffer lesser!

dun come and bullshit to me about studies, yes it is important, but in this world, people can work and study at the same time...

i know for myself what i need and what i am capable of.. TRUST ME...

its the little effort you put in that makes a big difference

2011-07-18T10:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was kinda tiring for me):
but i know i have acheived what i wanted yesterday, and as for today, how things would go in life for me would have to see what god have prepared..

played fishing joy the moment i reached home yesterday, earned over 20K in less than 10 mins.. HAHAHAS, i know this sounds damn amazing, but is i cheated :D my boyfriend kept saying i damn smelly, use the other way to play this fishing joy and earn so many coins, the whole entire family was experimenting this yesterday NIGHT, close to midnight!(:

going to pray tonight with my mummy and my sister?
then i have the sin tua dinner tomorrow which YAYEEEE, for the first ever time, i have my beloved bodyguard with me, and you will nvr know how happy i am.. to be honest, that place and those people are the ones whom have seen me grow, seen me fall, went for operations etc etc, so naturally, they know me quite well? and that place gives me a very welcoming feelings, not because of the people there, but whom i would be praying to..

okays, i have promised myself to do my utmost best in everything and of course, nvr forgetting to blog which i always will after coming home, so tireeeeddd!
i will post again tomorrow and yayeeeeeee.... finally 1 year and 9th month with my beloved babyboy! i swear i love him as much as i hate him! :D HAHAHAHAHAHAHS

life is like a circle

2011-07-15T00:11:00.003+08:00

life is like a circle..
this sentence is just so true..

I just realised that everything in life is pre-arranged, it is pre-arranged that you have to meet this person, you have to undergo all the obstacles which have been long set..

I have been really busy lately that I have no time to really care and bother about my misc stuffs, I have been really busy and busy is the only word right now until everything is ready then I will share with you guys?

As days passed by, I told myself that I have to brace myself up one after another obstacles have come by me and I have managed to picked myself up where I have fall.. I have seen a lot, and gone thru those which one can nvr imagine a 20 years old girl would undergo, nope, its not about bro whacking me etc etc, its about the endless money which I have to bring home, my studies, my work, everything combine, I think one day I will go bonkers! I will really become a work a-holic, shop a-holic and parents a-holic, LOLS! What a word!?

Blogging nowadays haven been easy tasks or me because my lappy’s letter ‘f’ have died on me): yes, I know that’s kinda sad because almost every word which I wanna use to describe myself and elaborate how I actually feel..

Hubby has been really nice, just that temperature haven really changed. I almost gave up once again -.-“. But rest assured, I have just read thru the 10 commandments of lord today, and I realised that there are a lot o angles in life which we can look at, will share more of it the next time I blog again? I promise that I wont give you guys a chance to see this blog dead again? HAHAHAS!

Saturday is a outing day for me again!!

Yayee, all my off days managed to meet the dates of bf’s, I swear I am damn happy! But then most of my days are meant for baking!! HAHAHAHAS! Dun worry, I wont neglect you de, please get my lappy fixed asap because I am really dying without the letters!!):

**hope I wont die of being overloaded! CAKES makes me feel excited and thrill!!

not everyone is true on its cover...

2011-06-16T16:10:00.003+08:00

wow!!

its been damn long since i last posted my blog..
damn tiring these days, nothing much to do really.
in fact, i hate manfield now, hate the fact that someone actually backstab me!
I just want to let that someone knows, what ever i do is none of your business lor, even if people resigns BEFORE you resigns, you dun have to backstab people that I went to join other company right? Come on la, so old liao still so damn childish, but hais, this is just the real world. the actual working society. I have seen and experienced it.

anyways, would be going out of town for a period of time to relax myself and also to stop working for a period of time.
kinda getting my battery charged up again before choinging for anything else.
had the interest in baking these days, have been able to do damn niceeeee de cakes lor.. i know that this can be my part time job! HAHAHAHAS! i want to be a baker! i like it lor!!! although i dunno if it would earn alot, but i just enjoy the entire whole process...
hope would post again when i am back in singapore(:

whenthereisyou&me(:

2011-05-08T20:27:00.000+08:00

Just a dream?

2011-05-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

Nelly Just A Dream

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

I was at the top and I was like I’m at the basement.
Number one spot and now she found her a replacement.
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair.

My lover, my life. My shorty, my wife.
She left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

When I be ridin man I swear I see her face at every turn.
Tryin to get my usher over, I can let it burn.
And I just hope she notice she the only one I yearn for.
Oh I miss her when will I learn?

Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.
Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm missin, wishin she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

):

2011-04-26T20:50:00.002+08:00

i feel sad.
i dunno why it seems to me that your temper is running out of the track le.
nowadays, if you realised how you have been treating me? maybe its me whom seems to be giving you everything that is pissing you off, but have you ever really thought about how you have been treating me?
its not bad, but i really dun like your temper, i tried my every best to change, but you pekcek, you sure will vent at things or people around you.
i have always been saying this, if you feel that i am bad tempered etc etc, before you say me, have a look at your own self. because i am just imitating you. and it is so simple as that.
i say you, you not happy, then you say me, how will i feel?
i know if you get to see this, you SURE will bu shuang.
have you ever wondered why are promises so damn fucking impt to me that i WANT you and HOPE that you will abide to it? because it is showing and telling me how much you care.
i meant no offence, i feel damn xinku because i cant say what i want to, towards you like last time anymore. because everytime i say something which i feel is true, you will angry. same as you say me, i also will bu shuang.
why cant this couple just sit down and talk about our bad points and discuss it so that we both cann improve?

phew****
i feel so good after venting out here in the blog, otherwise i am really suffering!
i really feel damn unhappy because I CANT speak up! my heart is suffocated!
i love you, but i really cannot tolerate this...
i need someone to understand me!!!!!!! oh gosh!!~

2011-04-10T15:06:00.005+08:00

i extreme hate it! i hate the way you have been treating me! things that you dun like, have you ever wondered if i would like them as well? relationship isnt just about you happy, you being happy and satisfied with everything that i can do and can give you. it about two person feeling really comfortable in the arms of another. i do not have the ability to ask for the entire world. but at least i have the ability to ask for what i should deserve. do i really deserve all these treatings from you? just as a little girl of yours, i have to go thru all these? sometimes, things i do, always cant please you really make me damn piss off.

i have been telling myself to keep trying, keep changing. but i see no point in just one person changing. if you realised, all i wanted right from the start was just your attention. i have really gone to the extend that even friends of yours whom i dun really like, i am willing to hang out with them, why isnt you happy still? what else do you want to ask from me? have you ever thought how i would feel when you dun appreciate things i have done and yet still asking for more. i have tried! i really have! but i still failed~ what else?! please tell me what to do!!!!!!!! everything i do, i do it for you~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkj2T5SH_Q&sns=em

apr isnt a lovely month):

2011-04-07T23:17:00.004+08:00

apr is not goodie): it hasnt been good and smooth for me, many many ups and downs. i started off my day with a fantastic beehoon, fav greentea. middle of the day had lunchie with my mini team de teammates, FROG PORRIDGE:D *STRAWBERRY SUNDAE was what i ate for dessert but my fantastic day was ruin by one idiotic fellow whom tried to step one angmoh when he is born black, born in india. because of some retarded commission/co broking thingy(sibeii long story) which din really worked out between us, i brought it to the attention of my incharge and my manager. After that, I became quiet as in, doing my own stuffs quietly, and not going around to talk about him or to provoke him. I keep quiet, he also buay song, come and yahoo me about asking me stop being a kid over the commission thingy. Hey come 'on, who is the one behaving like a kid? kept hogging onto the topic when it has already been over, and was yesterday's issue.. if you kan bu kai, then dun try to act as if you can take things relax, pretending that nothing had happened. I am seriously pissed and its to the max, I seriously feel like f-ing him upside down. He is a guy, but he claims credits by telling our manager how we behaves, bad things about us! wtf! isnt you xiao ren? I din do any shits to you and yet you come up with all these nonsense to bloody hell ruin my day! fuck out off my life la BLACK~ I am seriously damn pissed with you acting as if we are friends and you back stabbing us! nbcb! Apart from that, my hubby has been good today.. He has always been trying his best to give me his utmost support and really appreciate alot for all the precious advices. Thank you for always being there whenever I need a listening ear, no matter how nagging or pekcek I am, you will never leave me behind solving all my problems myself. Really thank you. I know all these while really xinku you le, this relationship is really tough, but I am sure we'll be able to go thru every thick and thins(: Thank you hubby! & I want you to know, I LOVE YOU*** muacks! please continue being there for me and walk all the obstacles with me will you? *it isnt a few seconds thingy that I love you, it took months, years, hours, days and even seconds to build them. TANQINGXIANG_I love you !(:

2011-03-22T23:29:00.002+08:00

LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN, APOLOGISE WHEN YOU SHOULD & LET GO OF WHAT YOU CAN'T

thinking too much, seriously, my heart feel damn unsafe. sometimes i asked myself not to think so much, but still here i am again to think so damn alot. The only thing which have been keeping me going, is my love for you. But i feel that, even with the love, when my heart doesn't feel safe anymore, will there be a way which you will be able to heal my heart back to normal? Back to the time which I love you right from the start..

As what my title have told all of you, I am supposed to be doing that instead, but perhaphs for some reasons (which i do not know what), i can't seem to let them off.. He shared alot of things with me the other day when things were damn rocky for this relationship, which I seemed to have etched them deeply right into my heart. I dunno what are the ways which I can do, or anyone can help me, to forget, to let go and not to remember. Why can't I just for goodness sake treat it as if nothing have happened, why must I always remember whatever shits he says including the fact that at times, he said I am fatt -.-"

Loving him is just something that cannot deny the fact that I do feel a thing for words he says
I love him, which is also one of the reason why I want to forget all these! ARGHhh, I am seriourly feeling damn horrible terrible la..I feel horrible because the fact is that I can't forget whatever he have done(especially those that were fcuking hurting) & I am pretty sure, he knows where he has hurt me/what is the things which have hurt this little heart so deeply..

1 years 5 months, I enjoyed myself, I feel the love from him, most importantly, he is always there whenever I needed him. Because the fact that he has always been around me, spinning,joking,laughing,quarreling around me, I cannot do without his presence, I am so used to seeing him getting scolded by me, so used to his cute way of asking me for things, whether he can do this and that. DEFINETLY, it is not RESTRICTION (*which he always feels & ASSUME that it is), its actually how you look at it, I just hope that everything you do, I will be kept in the loop. Honesty.Trust.Understanding is what I really want to see in both of us.. will you?
Please promise to stay close & never go away already alright? iloveyou

Although work haven't really be smooth for me, but I know I will hang in there, because of you, because you want me to, thats why I want to. Everything that you expect me to do or wants me to do, I will always do my best to fulfill them, but I sincerely and truly hopes that you will change to become a better and different you which I love. The one whom I knew, 1 year ago(:

goodnights world, i deserve a better day ahead!(:

the rainbow & sunshine after rain

2011-03-20T12:01:00.002+08:00

Its sunshine after the rain & rainbow after the thunder storm*

Can anyone tell me, what had happen the past few days? That made both of us not ourselves.

I wish everything had not happen, I wish you had not hurt me, even if you did, I want you to know that it is never easy for us to be together..

Please hang on there, because one day you will know how much this relationship mean to you and a complete new us will kick into this relationship SOOON(as promised). In fact, the past few days, I have been feeling really horrible, terrible. You have never treated me like this before, not in the past and not now.. Yet these days was eye opening for me because I saw a complete new you..

Anyways, forget about all the nonsense which you have created le la..

The purpose of this post is actually to say a lot a lot and a lot.

#1:

Thanks for making/giving me another chance to be your baby again. Although I do not know whether things will still be the same as before, better than before, but I know, all I want now is to cherish you and change for the better. You made me realized how important you are to me, and how far off I am in order to be your wifey.. Please trust me; I will give you the best and nothing but the best!

#2:

Please work hard to change with me for the better us.

I know we both can pull thru de, it is really hard to find a couple who truly loves each other dearly despite all those stupid things which have hurt me and you happened. I know we can do it de((: I hope that all the promises which we have made between each other will be kept, I know you hate promises etc, but those were meant to strengthen this relationship.. Please make me your one and only, I really hope that whatever have happened previously will not repeat itself again (you know what I am implementing at)

Suddenly, I felt damn tired, I dunno why but I got no more strengths to continue typing and posting, I think, whatever I want to tell you have already been inside the song lyrics which I want you to listen to yesterday. And the saddest thing of all, I have apologies to you friends, but none of them actually return a reply back to me. Maybe they just cannot accept me..

Whatever it is, hubby, I will never give up, I will try to accept your friends and please mend this broken heart, this heart of mine really feel damn horrible.. I have all the trauma that have happened right inside of me, I hope soon, pretty soon, you will heal them for me, and I will love you again like there is no tomorrow..

TANQINGXIANG-I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, LIKE HOW NICE KAYA WILL TASTE WHEN IT IS INSIDE THE WAFFLE/TOAST BREADS.

2011-03-05T16:08:00.002+08:00

when fishing became more important than me,
have you cared about how i really felt?
ask yourself, everytime when i am with you, is there ever once you wont talk about fish?see about fish?buy about fish things? even we go PS, you also insist to go diaso to see your fish thing.

can you just stop pushing the blames all to me for once?
i am really tired eh.. even if it is your temper's prob, your attitude prob, will ended up being my fault.
you need my attention, then what about me?being with me 24/7 isnt about giving me your attention okays? i cared about you, but sometimes ended up tio scolded with vulgarities by you..
when you are bored, ask yourself, what would be the thing you would love to do with me?
when i never meant anything as quarrels, you would think that i am trying to pick a fight, even simple thing like asking you not to scold vulgarities infront of my neighbours or even ppl whom we dunno because i hate ruining images, i hate those stares from people, i hate people gossiping, but yet, you feel that i am picking a fight with you.

sometimes, i really dunno what you want.
you hate me throwing the ring away or taking them out and returning them to you,
then have you cared about how i felt?
you know very well that i hate ppl messing around with my winnie the pooh, be it whoever, i will be angry and even cry.
even my colleague whom i told her only once, she could rmb. then why not you?
you know winnie the pooh is my life, yet you still throw, kick,whack.
its not more impt than you, but it is equally impt!

if you want me to understand you~
i can, but who can understand me?
i scold my sister because she seriously need to be taught the right way, even if i shout at her everyday, scold her everyday, she is still like that. skip schools, slacking ard after sch, results like shit, teacher complain. typical ahlian, but in your eyes, all i know is how to kpkb.
i meant well for people in another way, yet nobody knows~ even my own boyfriend actually supports other ppl more than me!
i need his advices, all he tell me is anything anything. you were never serious when it comes to my things, but when its yours, you expect me to give you GOOD answers, exact answers.
i really feel damn contradict.
i never treat you like dog, you say i have, i really dunno what the hell i am doing! everything i do is wrong wrong wrong & wrong~
i feel really terrible you know?!
i dun even feel like a human being!
i just keep doing the wrong things!
even when i felt that it is right, it is still wrong!
why?!!

work work work

2011-03-04T10:37:00.002+08:00

time passes really fast with work.

but if you have nothing to do, the time sucks!
I am working right now, felt like blogging, so here I am blogging.

hellos world, life is really getting more and more bored,
weekends seems to be attracting, but then i have zero plans for this weekends :/

i wonder..what i can do this weekends, anybody, any suggestions?

gooodbyeeeeee, i am really getting bored! :(

HAPPY VALENTINE!(:

2011-02-13T18:48:00.003+08:00

had a pre valentine surprise for baby.
baked him a cake which was my first attempt and i actually succeeded, its in a heart shaped.
thanks for always being just next to me when i needed you the most, when i am feeling very down, very unwell, very happy etc etc, even when i felt really sad, your arms were there either for me to bite, or to embrace me tight enough to make me feel better.

will upload the pictures real soon!(:
staying home to study because there is gonna be a mini test tomorrow,
an government exam on the 16th of march which are both driving me crazy! -.-

tomorrow is valentine's day.
i wonder where baby will bring me to, i got only two words from him when he actually saw the cake which i have made specially for him...thank you~
but i know for sure that deep down inside of him, he is really touched.
although i may not be the first girl whom have baked for him.. but at least its my first attempt, my first time baking for him(: i am happy enough.

will be back updating with the photos real soon!~ see yas!

gongxigongxigongxini!(:

2011-02-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

happy new year everybody!
CNY have been rather fun? with the question mark because i am not really sure. my CNY sibei happening.

-CHU XI-
came back from work around 2 plus, slept until around 4 plus 5 then helped mother with setting up the reunion dinner thingy.
started dinner around 6plus.
i canot remember what i ate because all damn nice!
after dinner waited for baby to come find me because he ate at his place then meet me,
Bwinnie called to arrange for mahjong sessions at her place and i called alvin along.
played till 4 am then go home sleep, i think we lost? or we won? cant really remember.

-CHU YI-
woke up around 11am,
bai nian with parents after dolling myself up
i got alot of money from my parents, more than my other two siblings, and guess what, my SIS is JEALOUS!
i left the hongbao that my parents gave me under my pillow because i think its a traditional thingy to put 'ya xui qian' under your pillow.
went to great grandmother place to bai nian and like every year, its sibei pack and alot of people there.
happening enough.
but this day sucks.
we play blackjack, but somehow, got one stupid fellow, even own relatives de money also want to con.
although he won money, but he has lost the credits in his family memebers and now everybody knows that he is a con man. teddy bear-
imagine, everybody lost money, almost 1300 in total, and every game, EVERY GAME, he just keep winning like no fking business
*moral of the story is, never play with him ever again, a cheat, a con man, a complete asshole.

-CHU ER-
woke up around afternoon?
went to my auntie house for lunch before we go over to grandma house.
went to whyemun(manager) house to bai nian, played few rounds of blackjack with them because i need to rush over to grandma house and my daddy's rushing me. -.-
won $$ :D
went over to grandma house to play mahjong, also won $$ with baby eh! two of us killed my aunt tricia, and huiting.
and then, midnight, ordered MAC to eat because my entire family isnt sleeping that early, i order double fillet and in the end, tio food poisoning. until today also haven recover.

-CHU SAN-
i thought i have gotten better because i ate the medicine.
so i went prawning with my aunt, baby and tricia, kimberly.
we got 30 over prawns and then we went back to grandma house to cook them and eat.
i din eat because if the stupid food poisoning thing.
haven been eating alot lately because i am really not feeling well.

-CHU SI-
a day before i start work
went to watch movie with my mother, sister, baby, and two little cousins.
then mahjong after that at my place again,lost money at first but the won money with baby again after that.
sleep then getting ready to go to work tomorrow.

07012011
work today!
but came back home around 3 plus 4, because of the food poisoning thingy, went to see doctor
doctor said that it is quite bad, ask me to rest well, gave me MC for two days.
the moment i came home, remove make up and bathe and all, slept on the bed until 8 plus 9pm then wake up to eat a little, now i am going back to sleep already after i have blogged finished.
lastly, i wanna wish everybody a happy chinese new year, hope that everybody have good health, good luck, good day!(:
most importantly, i hope that my baby will realise my importance one day. sometimes, i will really feel neglected, but i know all these would take time for him to tell me / show me. i will wait for you hubby!(: i love tanqingxiang! muacks~

sucks

2011-01-19T13:56:00.005+08:00

i seriously dunno whats wrong with blogger,

stupid idiot, i type so long then after i upload my image, everything just gone.

anyways,
i have been fighting with the stupid stomach flu for a week already
and today, i declare, i am officially KO by the stupid stomach flu, that makes my tummy pain like hell, cramp like crazy :/
the doctor gave me medicine likeeee FREE when it cost 29bucks :@

gastric

cough

flu

headache

*total 4 different type of medicine to take and then i will be unconsious for a couple of hours because everything is drowsy.

457thdayanniversarywith MisterTQX-20012011
yes, tmr is our anniversary, din really have time to celebrate the previous few anniversary all because of work.
i am also working tomorrow,
he also working night shift.
but we have planned to celebrate probably either after my birthday dinner with my colleagues or not would be on friday.
today cant celebrate even though i am home because i am sick.
its been really awhile since i last blog about this wonderful bf.

just in case, many of you people do not know,
this is my love
TANQINGXIANG
i dunno how to describe him, but i have a word to tell you how he actually behaves. SGL.
SUPERGUAILAN
hahahas!
he scolds me, he shouts at me, he will push me, he will plays violent with me.
only when i make him super pissed off.
even if he is the above, i want him to know that he is still inside my heart.
we have known each other super long enough.
close to 11 years. here are some things which i hate it the most when you do:

playing BS/SA all the time using MY LAPPY and when i ask you to help me with things you AP
fishing with that bunch of irritating friends, its not that i dun want to accept them, is they dun deserve my acceptance
mahjong with (the above)
scold me
shout at me
nag me
ap me
guailan me
breaking your promises to me

but these are the things which i like you most when you do:

a goodnight kiss on my forehead and lips each night before i sleeps.
whenever i am not feeling well, you will always be there to look after me like a doctor
scared that i will have no money with me when its close to month end, will save ur money for me to use when you dun even have enough at times
being my fashion designer
cared a lot about me when i am feeling really upset and lending me your ears and shoulder to nag and to lean on
listening to my stories even when you dun even understand them,you will advice me from ur point of view
my pillar of support
buying lot and lots of winnie the poohs for my because you know i wanna complete the collections and everytime you look at them, you will think of me
you always say i love you when i needed them the most
being so cute is your forte!
and never loving me enough is what you always do

okays.
i am sorry to say that i am tired! i am going to get some rest now before i knock out tomorrow and cant report for work AGAIN.
goody nights..goodbye world(:

freedom is the word to describe my resignation with YN

2011-01-08T13:15:00.003+08:00

woah!
i seriously love my days now,
although it has been a month since i last post a blog on my blogger, and the fact that millions of things happened during this one month.
first is my resignation submitted to the evil devils,
followed by alot of rubbish talks by all the rubbish management people,
then came the rumours of me spreading things around HQ that made certain people claimed that i told the HQ ppl about my resignation issues when everything i said was the truth and nothing but the truth.
to others, i am alright, i din try to make any trouble or try to be funny.
but to the double Js team, hais, forget about it.
ppl asked, why the hell you help to arrange WY things out, the first day you came, you could see everything is in a big mess! the store room like fcuk, the counter messy like crazy! even the auntie whom is just a cleaner there couls see how much you have done and contributed to WY, and why the hell the double Js treat you like that and what the fcuk they want from you?!
my ans to them was... this is how this company is, they will only help themselves or ppl whom are related to them, in another word, 自己人！ so i cant really be bothered about them, all i want is to faster get out of that very scary place and hectic place when even they claimed that it is a staff entitlement, they dun allow us to take, even things as simple as clearing the ALs or taking time off because of urgent things which happen only once after sooOOOoo long there, the answer from them is always, no no no and NO. because it isnt approved, therefore you cannot take.

CRAP.
and so.. i have gained my freedom.
i have left that very scary place.
i dunno why.
but i just knew that if the manager at WY is still J.
then can forget about hiring new staffs, or retaining your old staffs, because more and more ppl are going to leave!
ppl's face changes after they find that this person can no longer be of benefits to them.
even do farewell for others also cannot!
this is utter rubbish!
6days a week.
10 to 10.
NO ALs allowed if not approved.
NO MCs.
NO time offs.
work like bull.
SUCK UPs.

-what a sickening place.

i thank god.
because god lead me out from the scary place and shown me a route of light.
god brought me into a place where i can be myself, where i can smile heartily, where i enjoy what i am doing.
i thank my bf, because even after so much, he din chose to leave me behind facing all this issues myself.
he have always been there to let me know that no matter what decisions i have made, support is the word from him and have always been.
well, i wanna let all of you know that..............
I ENJOY WHAT I AM DOING NOW AND I WILL DEFINITELY STRIVE TO DO BETTER THAN MY DAYS IN YN BECAUSE NO PLACE IS AS STRESS OR AS SCARY AS YN!

"nobody can go back & start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"
-maria robinson-

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

2010-12-07T00:40:00.002+08:00

Finally....
after so long of endurance, struggle, and tolerance towards everything in YN.
I wanna say, I feeeeeeeel good, really FEEEEEEEEEEL so good! i escape, i fly, i ran out from the place which I believe I have never had a sense of belonging to.

Frankly speaking,
thank you to two very special person whom have been just merely respecting my decision and made only one comment, regardless of what the decision you make is, i will support your decision.
-tanqingxiang, the man of my life,
sometimes, i really regret how i have been treating him previously, but at times, i just felt that i should have treated him even more harsh, otherwise, he will not become who he is today. LOLS.
-Annabelle Ng! she is really my superwoman,
she gave me advices like those in bibes, those that were so holy spiritual that i just hooked onto it and listen.
i will always seek her advices, she is my comforter, my listening ear, my mentor, my good friend, my MUMMY. & i love her(:

thru this year,
i have really seen, hear, feel, touched alot.
i guess, it is really enough.
it is really time that i should bid goodbye to all of you.
i dare to admit that at times, i failed as a senior, but i want, sincerely want my girls to know that i really love them!
they gave me the motivation to do better, to strive for the best..
thank you for always supporting me & i apologise for all the attitudes, tempers, shits that you all have to tolerate!
but most importantly, you girls have to jiayou oh! VANESSA NG & PRISCILLA NG! jiayous for everything okays? i know you girls can do it, and can do it even BETTER!(:

in fact,
i have learnt alot. i have really seen work society 'behaviour'
i know its kind of boring for a 19 year old girl to go thru all these.
but trust me, i am more mature, i have become more sensible, strong enough to face all obstacles that comes by.
let me tell you something? age is no boundaries.
it shouldnt be something that is keeping you behind your achievements, your career, your goal!
must soar to greater heights de wor!
ask yourself, what would life be if we have no courage to attempt to anything?

from this path and choice i have chosen,
i swore to do better,
i swore to achieve more.
i swore never to let you down!
WINNIE NG! jiayou!(:
i know i wont regret today's choice...
its time for a good rest tonight! got MILLIONS of explanations to do to MILLIONS of ppl...
LOLS.

Goodnights world, winnie will work hard! i love MISTERTQX

"its only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth-- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up--that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

the end of my 20102010

2010-11-12T23:56:00.003+08:00

i came to realised that.
i have really broken down le. i have really did my best to hold on, to hang on.
i thought you would change like what you told me.
i did changed! but what do i get?!
do i seriously deserve all these shouting, screamings and vulgarities?!
i just wanna be happy like how i used to be! why is it so difficult?! because of one word you say,
i did everything i could.
i still cant! i still failed!
i love you more than anything, yes! i may be possessive, but i lost you once! and you know how does it feels like?!
now, everything mei you le! i just hope for the best for you,
just hope that things will be happier and life would be back to how you want it to be, and not how i wanted it to be.
it isnt the time for me to say or do anything now.
you want me to accept them, but everytime they see us quarrel, i also paiseh.
you go your own way ba.

i gotta say whats on my mind,
something bout us doesnt seemed right these days,
life keeps getting in the way,
no matter how i try,
somehow the plan, is always rearranged!
its so hard to say, but i gotta do whats best for me, you'll be okay.

dont wanna leave it all behind,
i get my hopes up and i watch them fall everytime.
you came inside, slamming everything inside the room,
what else can i say? can i still say i wish for you to stay? can i still ask you not to go?
would everything still be the same after you stay?
why are you still so fierce?
why are you still so attitude?
i just wanna hug you and i just hope things would be back to normal again. is it really hard?
there is nobody i could turn to, i just wanna tell you how i feel,
but would you still bother to listen to me?
are frens all really so important that you can just simply ignore me?
sorry.
maybe i wasnt the one that you wanted fromo the start. sorry to have wasted your time and effort.

or maybe, i simply deserve everything today.
goodbye my love.
take care.
you will live better.

12 hours

2010-11-07T00:54:00.002+08:00

i guess, its been more than 12 hours i last seen you.
if i tell you that i miss you, will you believe? will you stop everything that you are doing to look at me?
its not, really not i dun wan let you have your freedom, or being with your friends, is, everytime with them, i am always the last! THE LAST. always forgotten! like what you promised, by 1am you will be back, now is 12.56am, yet i cant feel your soul, neither your heart.

you made me really tired and sick of PROMISES.
i seriously found no meaning in telling me things which you are unable to fulfill.

hubby, i did my best le.
i did everything i could to make us happy.
yet again, i failed.
i failed entirely, utterly as a gf.
when i have no means to quarrel, you will feel that i am trying to quarrel.
i packed my room, put all our photos to give you a sweet surprise, but you wasnt here to seem them.
i spent $200+ just buying the slimming products because of words you said.
everything you said, you did, remains inside my heart vividly.
i never show actions doesnt means i dun feel a thing!
i have feelings, i am sensitive to yours, how about yours to mine?

i know it takes two hands to clap.
i could blamed nobody for what i am getting today,
could only blame myself why i wasnt able to cherish you right from the start.
i deserve what i am getting today.
you know things are all no longer the same.
i dunno how to tell you how scary and fierce you are, even my colleagues all mentioned that.
what has becoming to you?
is everything my fault that i made you into this?
what else can i do to make up for all the past mistakes and beg you to stop treating me like this?
am i not comparable to your friends?

i have done everything i could,
but how come i dun get what i wanted?
must i really give up then i will get what i want?
must i totally hack care?
please tell me what to do! i am lost! i kept thinking you opened the door of mine, but you din! its 1.03am, i am still alone! why?

终于说出口

happy birthday ANNABELLE MAMA!

2010-10-30T23:47:00.005+08:00

FIRSTLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST ANNABELLE NG MEI KENG!(LOVABLE MOTHER)

thanks for helping me whenever i am in need and thanks for those really precious advices and memorable moments.

just here to tell you, I LOVE YOU(: hope that your dreams will all come true, and LAI KE WANG WANG!

Secondly, i haven't been really happy lately due to work.

seriously dunno what are the people thinking nowadays, why must they secretly keep stocks,

the staff like that, boss also like that.

how to follow company's policy, company's rules and regulations?

i am really pissed off doing work there lor.

every time i meant well, dun wanna do anything illegal, the double J will surely come out and say, can can can.

people using IPHONE at pantry, boss sees it, yet condemn them to such acts and behaviour.

i dunno what else is right and wrong in this outlet already because everything wrong seems to be right,

yet everything right seems to be NOT VERY RIGHT.

i hate it! i really hate it!

people stab you at the back when you are always doing and thinking for the outlet,

wanting the outlet to grow.

i really tired already! i just keep telling myself to hang on, yet i really cant.

at the very least, i tried accomplishing every tasks that my boss/ this company assign to me, i have failed nobody.

i am unhappy working here, but who can i turn to? to spill everything that is happening at WY?

on the surface, it is good good good,

sales good,

laikes good,

etc etc,

but the consultants sucks!

bm sucks!

we call laikes, we are wrong because if never close, we are blamed.

they illegal give CR, we dun want accept, we wrong.

what is the world becoming?! how i wish someone would take actions against everything i want to say!

this OUTLET IS BLOODY CORRUPTED AND UN-UNITED!!!

SOMEBODY HELP!

I NEED HELP!

I NEED TO TAKE SOME BREATH!~

i love you hubby,

sorry for all that happened today, i really wasnt in the mood.

i know you would always understand,

and i know, you will stay close, dun go.

the one i will always be there for & remember

2010-10-18T12:14:00.004+08:00

19.10.2010

Nicole's last day with YNHC.

let me share something about this lady here with all of you?

NICOLE TAN.SUPERVISOR of YNJP-YNWY.

when i first joined this company, i find her really irritating. i find that she have super attitude problem.

she just keeps picking on me, on our laike(s).

at that point in time, i dun really have good impression in her.

but as time pass, her image inside of me really improved.

she have really changed.

she no longer have AP, but rather after all the while of working with her, i really find her nice.

recently, transferred to woodlands de me.

have seen even more than before.

she isnt one who just cares about herself,

she puts herself in every of the girls that is under her,

to help them think, help them worry, help them gan chiong.

when they are close to failures, she NEVER fails to pick them up from there.

she shed tears for her girl.

when they targets failed to hit.

company in cruel, yet we do everything we could to hold on there because everyone needs a job to survive.

but it is really too scheming,

No matter how the company treats her,

how her girls were blamed, she nvr fails to stand out for them,

even at the very last moment when she really have things to do,

got her stuffs to settle,

she could sacrifice that to see her girls hitting their targets and get another chance to stay on.

even after she tenders, her attitude towards her girls and us have nvr changed,

she still puts in her best shots!

NICOLE, i want to let you know that you have really changed alot.

you have done all the things you could to save your girls,

your xiao guas.

the rest is up to them le..
but seriously speaking, you have leave a good impression in me, in most of them.

most important of all, you have been a great mother, a great supervisor, a great fren.

although i am not sure of what woodlands would become when you leave.

but i am sure, so long as you are happy with you life, with your future endeavours,

everyone would be happy for you.

we cried.

all of us did.

because we cant bear to...

FB jian ba!(:

you will always be loved & remembered!(:

PS: to all those out there whom wants NICOLE to die, i can tell you, this lady will survive.

because she have been thru her darkest moments already.

she is ready for any other challenge that comes her way!

NICOLE! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!

saw and been thru alot):

2010-10-09T00:42:00.001+08:00

在做工的地方,让我真的看清了人的嫌恶. 一个接一个的走了. 不知道为什么我真的开始害怕上班,害怕下一个会很有可能是我. 当senior真的很不容易啊! 要看着小的, 又要做senior应该做的! 真的不容易! 好累哦! I have really been thru alot, it is really very tired to balance relationship and worklife together. suddenly I felt that my chinese improved alot! lols. nicole thought me chinese and I thought her english. she kept forcing me to write those stupid memos which I left on the whiteboard in chinese -.- I guess this is the reason why it improved. vivi also! lols. very happening at there but I guess without jessie,things would be better. I really duno how on earth could she be a bm! goodness me! everytime I see her,i just feel like puking! she just dun seem to know even her branch manager de job scope! its tired to hold woodlands de counter,many a times, I just felt like giving up. but luckily, I still got vanessa, nicole, my ex mum anna and many people who were there for regardless of wat happens. thank you everyone. thanks for all the help and support from you all! okays people, I am tired le. going sleep now. will wake up without tears anymore? I have decided to let him go le. I wont bother him or question him like what I did today. he thinks that I am wrong and I am also sick and tired of explaining. he still dun understand how much I have done, I have said, I have changed. I am tired le. hais. goodbye world.

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tired out by everything.

2010-10-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

I am really tired out these few days. unsolvable problems, facing people with attitude problems. I seriously duno how to adapt myself to all these issues,duno how to solve all these things. I talk to my girls, yet they just refuse to listen. I swear I dun wanna talk so much le. I rather keep quiet and let things flow the way they supposed to. relationship and work life really sucks for me now. I hate it. really hate it. give me a break can?!i need a break.

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happy birthday to me!

2010-09-22T23:05:00.001+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY IS GOING TO BE OVER SOON!): Birthday without you really sucks, I wanna tell you I miss you yet I dun dare to. I dun want history to repeat again. Anyways, went out with my parents today because they celebrated my birthday with me. Then went to buy alot of nice nice food put inside my room so that I can eat them if I got nothing to eat. LOLS. seven month already over yet I still here. dots! Wanted to do my nails today but all the stupid shop closed so early today. I also wanted to blog, typed finished already then was unable to post, duno wats wrong -.- din really enjoyed myself today but I rested well enough!! HAHAHAHA. Millions of things happened at the outlet today, have to resolved them all at one go tomorrow. OH GOD! I am exhausted!:-P hmmm, I going sleep soon. happy birthday to me again. wish you were here, I wanna tell you I really miss you! but will things be back to normal again? let time heal the wounds ba. take care peeps! goodnights!

happy birthday to me!

2010-09-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

I wanna be alone.

2010-09-21T22:51:00.001+08:00

please leave me alone. it hurts.

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birthday without you, I am not happy why?

2010-09-21T22:04:00.001+08:00

its my birthday tomorrow, yet I am not at all happy. why would I have such thoughts? I had my party but was spoilt because of your selfish thoughts, I am not a good host, I admit. but the one close to me, whom is supposed to be one of the host was not understanding enough. outlet still keep giving me alot of rubbish, stressed over the two girls whom also duno if they will hit their targets on time. am I up to wat it takes to be a senior or am I just tough on the outer layer? so damn tired! I feel like giving up le. I thought I would have you on my birthday, yet things dun come our way. Plans always changes against the way we planned. I should be understanding or I should be sad over promises which you have made yet you was not able to fulfill? I am just looking forward to good news, looking forward to seeing you! Hais, I know its impossible. I need time alone. But million thanks to friends whom have spent time with me at my party and sorry for not being a good host! Thanks for all the nice presents! I love all of them! on my way home inside train now, will have a good rest! goodnights people!

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treatment sharing

2010-09-18T10:07:00.001+08:00

have you ever wonder how does it feels to be experiencing hair treatments? Let me share my experience with you, it is very comfortable! the treatment not just cure your problems,but also leaving a very comfortable feeling on your scalp. HAHAHAHA! Jealous? But i woke up damn early today because of the stupid train duno doing wat. I feel so damn tired. Reached work place at 920, then did the treatment. Took the time now to blog but my eye closes while blogging, I think, I better catch some sleep before I become too tired for work later. Will update again later. Oh oh oh! Party tomorrow! Peeps, DUN FORGET! SEE YA!

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Days At Woodlands.a place far far away

2010-09-17T01:13:00.001+08:00

Everything seemed to be so happening over there. This promotion came just too sudden that even until now, I am still not used to it. I wanna go "home" but am I able to? Sometimes I just felt that I do have have a sense of belonging, but seriously speaking, is that place where I belong and where I should be? I know if I do well, I will make people who supported me all the way proud but wat if I failed? I gave myself time to see if I should really continue striving. It is Really tired. Much tired than I expected it to be. Well, enough of that. Birthday coming = getting older. I have a wish for this year,in fact is two wish, 1, I hope everything would last sweetly with love. 2, LAI KE WANG WANG! hahahaha! I know I am retarded-.- To those who are attending my party, I hope you will enjoy it and I just simply miss you guys!! Okays, its getting late though, time for bed WINNIE NG! goodnights world, most importantly, goodnights love tan!

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i will strive for my future!

2010-08-23T13:16:00.002+08:00

these few days, i am really tired out.
i have never been so tired before. i really felt like giving up several times.
things din go smoothly these days at work, with babyboy also.

seriously, we quarrelled over really trival matters and i dun even know whether we will be able to hold onto each other hand in hand.
he wasnt like this in the past.
i also dunno why am i so affected by him going out with that group of friends, i dun wanna be possessive, but everything i wanna say he doesnt seem to understand at all.
when i cried really hard, really stress and pek cek with everything, he chose to leave me the hard way. he said he told ada everything he wanna say like he wan me to learn things the hard way etc etc, he din mean it etc etc, he dun wan me to become like his brother which left no choice for others. i dunno whether those were even true.
but i just know that my love for you is true.

friends.family.me
i know you were caught in between, but i hope you could understand.
understand why am i so uptight?!
i realised, things isnt working out for us, its really time to get things done.
be who you are bah, if you think that it is what you really want and that you will never ever regret it, then go ahead. because i know, how much i say also cannot stop you from doing and getting what you wan.

anna is right,
i shouldnt be like this, it isnt who i am.
who can i trust and turn to when i really feeel very down?i need time to clear my mind.
i wanna make a decision which i will nvr ever regret!
i dun wanna care what and how you guys have been looking and talking about me.
but let me WARNED YOU! stop all the GOSSIPPING! BECAUSE IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

okays!
i need to rest now. feeling really very tired!

phone.bags.me.him

2010-07-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

i know i haven been blogging for some time.
but dun worry my frens, life is gettin better for me, just that i am very tired by wok & also have been falling sick very easily because of the weather.

babyboy will be finishing serving his ns soon.
how i wish he would be immediately pop now! best would be ORD!
hahahas!
all of them at work are talking about what bags to buy, i wish to buy too!
but like very expensive eh.
maybe when i have earned enough to purchase all these then i buy ba.
like almost all my money is given to the family for commitment, then i also wanna buy a lappy, just bought xperia x10 mini because baby boy want me to have a phone that i really desire!
LOLS.
i wanna hve a prada wallet!
have a longchamp handbag that everyone is talking about.
& if CHANEL! i will FAINT!!!
will be tooooooooooo happy until faint!

i know these things isnt important at all,
which is why i would rather wait till the time is right,enough money, less commitment,
then i buy ba!(:

tired after eating medicine,
& babyboy! IM SO LOVING YOU!
muacks.

i hate her pressence!

2010-07-01T22:47:00.003+08:00

hello world!
im tired, because i am sick already):
i dunno why am i slogging my life out for that few amount of money while ppl just sit back & does nothing, but she got what she 'deserve'?
woah,seriouly, i dunno what i should say when i face her, even when i wanted to ask her to do something, i am so damn fing pek cek when she tell me,:'er...i dunno how/where/what?'
i really hate it when she says all those.
which is why, thanks to her, im slogging my whole ENTIRE life out!
i really hate it!!!!
pek cek!!!

sicksicksicksick.
sick isnt a nice feeling):
gonna sleep now, dun wan my babyboy to worry about me(:
goodnights world, thanks to you whom made my whole life and working life so miserable!
please reflect!

& i love you.

its best to leave words unsaid

2010-06-29T21:01:00.003+08:00

stayed home whole day because din really have place to go & also exhausted by all the work loads etc.
went for breakfast with my parents then met ah yi for awhile because wanted to have a chat with her,
ended up going to clementi DENTAL clinic to polish my teeth -.-
*PAIN is the word.

dunno why, the thought of my him makes me have more courage, despite of the pain inside my mouth,
i could still endure. seriously hate dentist, but mine is a nice one(:
had a horrible night yesterday because we quarrelled.
honestly speaking, that was the worse one ever, i felt the worse yesterday.
i dunno what makes things so off the track, i meant well everytime i tried telling you things/tried explaining to you.
im not sure whether things are gonna be alright for us, but i just wanna say i am really sorry.
i know i am hot tempered sometimes, i may seemed unreasonable, but i really cared about you.
i just wish for the best of us!

suddenly, i felt so cold, felt as if i am being left alone in this world.
i told you i am afraid of you because of those words you said yesterday.
even this morning when you called, i really dunno how to react.
i wanna sing a song for you.
when you book out ba(:
dun worry, everything will turn out alrighty(:

most importantly, I LOVE YOU.
thanks for always being here when i need.
i am sorry.

life is what?

2010-06-28T23:30:00.003+08:00

why is it that everything i do is wrong while everything other ppl do is right?
why is it that when i ask, when i am supposed to be the victim, became the killer?
if you were me, what would your answer to my questions for you?
i hope to make things better, but i always seems to make things worse.
if trust were the word, how much do you trust me?

ada & chris spoke to me today,
they told me that at times, when he do not want to tell you things,
doesnt means that he is trying to keep it from you,
it would mean that he din put it to heart hence he din wanna say/maybe its too hard for him to say, and knowing that it would turned up intoa quarrel, he chose not to say.
sometimes, guys do not like girls to be very smart.
but i am not those kind who can treat it as if nothing happened when in actual fact, something did happened!
i dunno how, can anybody teach me?
i know i take things really very hard, i cant seemed to forget about all the unhappy stuffs or nasty words ppl put across to me instantly, i need time.
everyone told me to believe him & trust is the word.
is either i trust him or i dun.

but,do i?
sometimes, running away from problems isnt the right way to solve things.
but i chose to run away
yet when im home,
history repeats itself again,
my mother just kept repeating the scene and is so afraid that if he got another girl, i cant take it.
what should i do?
i dunno why when i used to trust him, now i cant.
i really can see him changing. i dunno whether he really loves me anot now because everything seems to be changing, or am i thinking too much like what vivien said?

god! im really lost!

when is the sunshine i used to have?

2010-06-27T23:32:00.003+08:00

these days, its been raining cats & dogs.
thunder & lightnings everywhere, hm mm, i supposed that's how i should describe the mood at my workplace. it seems to me that everything is really isn't in the right mood.
seldom hear really laughter,
jokes etc.
for the reason; our pillar of support, my nicest BM J.
its pretty shocked to see her like that, i really dunno what actually happened.
this is really the first time i ever seen her so down, because all these while, she has always been giving me precious advices & also to tell me what i should do next when i am really lost.
Millions of things happened lately, I'm not sure whether when things would be back to normal again.all i could say is i hope everything would go smoothly for J, and hope to see her wearing the smile, right from the bottom of her heart!(: jiayou ba!

okays, back to talking about myself(:
been really tired working lately because haven had a off day for about i think 9 days liao?
hahahas! but everything is worth sacrificing because i went to Malaysia for 5 days(: LOLS.
at least, things seems to be getting better for both me & him?
i am really sorry that at times, i isn't understanding enough, but i know that everything i do is just to give this relationship the best, nothing else, but everything the best(:
i am sad when lappy used to be with me & i could update everything about me everyday onto the blog so that when you book out you can read bout them. but i know, i cant be selfish, when others needs it, i have to give up.
i hope that things will slowly get back on track & we will not argue over trival matters anymore?
promise?
well, its time to say goodbye & goodnights to this tired yet beautiful world, because everyday with you around is just so nice & beautiful.
i need not you to be perfect,
i just need you to be there when i really need you(:

goodnighty!
& i love you.

i pretended to be dead when im still alive

2010-06-22T23:58:00.004+08:00

really no time to blog man,
even after the company's party, i wanted to blog. i got just no time to.
things isnt going smoothly for me though.
wanna apologise to ppl whom i have flied the aeroplanes, LOLS. because i really dun have the spare cash/time to go.
moreover, he doesnt like it.
these days is really tiring, sometimes i dunno whether working everyday like cow & horse(what ah yi said) is worth it.
but at least i know at the end of the day, i get what i wanted, i get the amount of $ which is enough for me & my greedy family.
one more thing i wanna say is to all the ex clementeens, whether you like it or not, thats the place where i work, say hi to me if you are my fren, & shoo off if i just simply hate your face, dun need come & pretend you know me/pretend you wanna laugh but dared not to. dun be a loser.
whether you ppl like it or not, i have said my piece, at least i know, there are ppl who cared & i do not wish to waste my time on you guys. tsk.

babytan,
these days haven been easy for the two of us.
seriously speaking, i dunno what will make you stand in my shoes and think, sometimes i wish everything remained unchanged like before you went into army, because at least you know you would be enlisting soon, and pay more attention to me.
you know even though at times we were just next to each other, but i just felt that we are miles apart.
i know you have been trying,thanks for trying.
really wish for everything to remain unchanged, i still LOVE the you before the enlistment.

tmr gonna work still, pictures of Sales Party are all uploaded on fb.
wont be blogging for these few days unless i have the spare time to.
will miss you guys!

tugging in liao!
goodnights world.
the darkest side of the world now.

so close, yet so far.

2010-06-08T21:27:00.002+08:00

im currently at genting.
LOLS.
just finished a spa session with my whole entire family.
damn shiok can?!
seriously, i miss my baby boy who din came with me to genting because he is inside NS.
stupid lor. dunno serve wat, somemore tio caught with illegal gambling inside his stupid bunk. LOLS.
but dun worry my dear, bought alot of nice things for you!
although theres still few days to go before im back in singapore to see you, but hahahahas! fang xin ba, i never gui hun here.
tired.
going to buy things again? changed alot of money, but din really get the chance to spend alot. hmmmm, i dun wan blog liao, will blog again when im back in singapore ba!

& i love you.
PS: will buy things back for all of you ba! fangxin!

2010-06-04T00:12:00.002+08:00

why am i always so tired after work?

its really not busy.

but it seems like two person working, but its is only one.

she just sit there & does nothing?

i kept making mistakes.

but then she dun even bother helping me!

only when its time to go home,

she is fucking fast. changed clothes liao, then go home le! =.=

sibeii fast hor? IM TIRED!!!-

silly boy,

I LOVE YOU(:

hahahahahas.

surprised!!

i din know "i thought" was a sickening word.

2010-06-01T23:48:00.003+08:00

pek cek!

i seriously dunno whats wrong with *.

everybody is angry/sad over that issue/incident.

but * can really ignore everything that is happening around her eh!

she can seriously IGNORE!!

she chose to run away from reality or she is really blur, i also dunno=.=

sometimes when you make a mistake, you should admit it rather than running away from it.

YES! for the time being, it is able to resolve the issue, but after a few times later, i doubt anyone would feel like entrusting things to you etc etc.

come on man! its how you actually look at it. ITS THE MINDSET.

honestly, we are tired.

we are tired of telling & repeating things which we have already taught before.

Maybe you have reasons why you are behaving this way, but I just wanna tell you how disappointed A is. she put in not just 100% effort to teach every new girl, but 200%!!

ni dui de qi ta ma?!

action speaks louder than words la. i know i am not in the position to tell you right & wrong, but i just want to tell you that i CARE! i care for our outlet,our target, our cooperation! understand?

mistakes is something that everybody will make whether you are old or new, I just hope that you would understand our way of telling you & you would appreciate it & change.

& babyboy,

sorry that i din accompany you today.

i know you are also tired with all the trainings etc,

bear with it okays?

everything will be gone soon!

I LOVE YOU! MUACKS.

my temper is always behaving like a volcano

2010-05-29T23:48:00.003+08:00

long day at work today!

nothing much at work, its just that i had precious advices at work today(:

i realised that impossible is really nothing, if you put your mind & heart to do something/get something done, it can be done.

thanks sooo much da! thanks for the advices given at work today. will heed them, really appreciate it MILLIONS.

laozhong also.

she spoken to me the other day & i realised that i was really stupid, stupid to give up chances & chances given by people & have been letting alot of people down. i still rmb what lao zhong told me:" target never hit isnt the most important thing, the most important thing is my mindset & being positive" after hearing this sentence, i really woke up. i asked myself why am i so bothered? is what she says true that i cant lose? or i cant admit defeat? i told myself, even if one day i never achieve my target, at least i wan show others i have done my best & tried to achieve.

really appreciate all those advices they gave me, really helped me alot in life. thanks for praying for me & believing that i can do it. Will do my best to achieve what i want.

very sad.

ipos adjustment.

although that fault wasnt made by me, but then, still, i am sad.

no more presents):

its okays! BE POSITIVE!

i must really learn not to be pek cek~ i really get pek cek very easily!):

no good no good! HAHAHAHAHAHAS.

yippie! congrats outlet, we have achieved our 100% target, next stop is 120% liao!!! jiayous. gambeta!!

nights world.

i will always be a happy girl.

im forturnate,

because i know, god loves me(:

(: (: (: (:

i love you!((:

vesak dayyy with familyy!

2010-05-28T23:45:00.003+08:00

after a long sleep in,

a very nice off day,

undisturbed.

im a very happy girl now!

vesak day!

went to temples with my family & babyboy!wooo... its damn tiring because sibeii alot of people! LOLS.

yuppie, veggie-vegetarian today!

went to chinatown for my desserts actually, but sadly, it was PACKED with people.

not i wan praise the food there, its really damn nice!

if im not wrong, i still could rmb who brought me there to eat, Eugene, Vivien, jy etc etc..its damn nice, i always will go for the almond! wooo hooo! so spoony licking good! LOLS.

well, since its not open, mum suggest going to the market there to eat. okay do-kay, so we went lo.

FULL! (:

went to OG with mommy cause she wanted to buy kitchen stuffs.

but din managed to chose the one she like & im really getting tired after setting off to so many places & sweaTING like nobody's business =.=

went to IMM & nearly swipe off everything at cotton on!

LOLS, the sales is like never ending one leh, keep having sales, but at least it is good for me.

because it would mean another excuse for NEW CLOTHES!(:

& guess wheres the very last destinations?

yup! HOME SWEET HOME!((:

and finally im home, damn tired, watching king kong with babyboy inside my room now!

will sleep after this cause tmr there is work & its SATURDAY!)):

I HATE IT! lols!

its time to say goodbye((:

will be back real soon! simply love the way my off days are PLANNED!!

i love weekends & wed, cause family day! moreover, my besties isnt working/studying on wed! & it would mean? OUTINGS & MEET UPS. chaos!

tired.

2010-05-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

tired.

today was a long day at work because i do not have to work tomorrow.

my PH off! FINALLY.

going to temples with my family tomorrow, then going for the food fair. the thought of food makes me DROOL!

millions of things happened recently.

i dunno whats wrong.

but i tend to feel that you are no longer the same, im beginning to regret now..

i dunno whether it is still you,

but everything that i felt is no longer the same. you used to be my, yes man.

now, just a little bit, you also will pek cek with me. i dunno what have i done wrong?

you know? i do all my best to please you yet these are what i got.

i dun like the ah beng you now, i dun like the you since you book in, stop taking everything for granted please!

i have my reasons for telling you things which i felt was wrong, not just you din appreciate it, you really behaved differently.

im lost.

i just hope for the old you to be back.

why have things changed so much since the day you book in?

or is it me whom have been thinking too much?

hais..

i really dunno)):

achieved my target was supposed to be a happy matter,

but hais,how to be happy when what i wanted din turned out the way its supposed to be.

tired was the only word now,

im going to take a DEEP sleep now and not think so much.

family would be away on a holiday, im soon gonna be alone. wanted sooo much to go... but hais, why i cant?

is this all the things which i should be getting from god?

think for others can?!

2010-05-18T19:54:00.004+08:00

elated is the only word to describe how i felt after seeing this!

HAHAHAHAS! its really hard to get this though.

but someone special gotten it for me!((:

it taste sweet yet the alcohol is damn strong.

down with rashes lately,

because im sensitive to all those muscle relief thingy.

well, damn itchy & irritated with the rashes.

love went to see doctor with me & gotten medicines from the doctor & a jab.

GREAT-.- din manage to go to work because i was given MC for two days, and cant go for the dance practice.

im rather annoyed by my work.

im really ill & they just sent a message saying that even if i die, i HAVE TO GO! woah! its so damn unreasonable lor.

imagine, what if i really die or collapsed there? are they able to take up the responsibility of my death? & if i die, they would be very troublesome lor.

they just thought of at that point in time, what they want. hey come on la!

i am human man, dun have to talk to me or treat me like a dog. YES IM TAKING YOUR SALARY.

but we do have human rights, & the freedom of speech! PLEASE USE YOUR BRAINS!

think for others, dun just think for yourself! im getting really irritated! i dun owe you a living okays?!

im really very UNHAPPY!

im enduring with all the nonsense which you all have created and yeah, none of you could be trusted including those which i am good with.

when you dun have the time to count, you can dun.

but i need ask permission, after messaging, NOBODY replied me.

stop putting on an air INFRONT of me! i have really seen all their true colours!!

TIRED!

im glad that love really understands me.

otherwise i would be going mad already.

PEK CEK!

im getting way tooooooo tired!

2010-05-12T00:25:00.003+08:00

these days really tiring!

its really tired till i dun even have time to update my blog.

sales party is round the corner,

need to practice for the performance.

things isnt going smooth for me & him, because now i hardly have spare time for him.

he has also been selected for the NDP2010 & YOG 2010, need MILLIONS of extra drillings & trainings, which even make time for this relationship even lesser.

i used to talk to him over the phone for dunno how many hours before i would bear to sleep.

but now, we hardly spoken for even an hour, because we are both tired. sorry for the only word to compensate for the time not given. At times, im really annoyed but all these & were even wishing to put everything to a FULL STOP.

but still, i cant bear to.

i opened up my heart & told him how i felt yesterday.

i dunno if things will ever change, but i just wanna say that with a job like mine, i still have to balance my relationship & work, try not to put work attitude & temper into this relationship isnt easy man!

it takes BILLIONS of effort to get it done & i really hope you can see it.

im really tired out with all the arguments and all the sickening attitude & unhappiness in this.I would rather give everything up than getting this everyday.

because you isnt me, thats why you will never know how it feels when you have to balance both & yet you keep making mistakes at work.

my work place is a place filled with traps & its something im aware of.

there is nobody you can trust only yourself.

everytime people make a mistake, i happen to take over that matter, i got blamed for everything!

and when i questioned the person who made the mistake, they just pushed the blame!

hey come on! i have ENOUGH! enough of all your sickening pushing of the blames & trying to act as if you know everything when you know even lesser than i do!

dun bother asking me who is it, because i will never say. IM TIRED MAN!

is either i give up either one, or both-thats the best ending!

imnoteasytoeat!

imalsonoteasytobully.

duntakemeforgranted.

youknowwhatimean!

tired out completely.

2010-04-28T01:34:00.002+08:00

yipee!
off day tomorrow.
no wonder im still awake at this time right? LOLS.
watching show online, its a damn nice cantonese show. watched half way, came here to blog because its very bloody slow.
i just realised, being at home is such a nice thing to do. other than those naggings & noisy arguements my family had. i miss those days slacking at home because i practically works everyday, only one very pathetic off day. life is really so tiring. but when you get to see 4 digits salary coming in that you could afford all the branded goods, everything seems to be worth doing for. at least at the end of the day, i get to pamper myself, even just stuffing myself with all the good food is good enough le((:

i miss my babyboy dearly.
only managed to talk to him over the phone when i was on my way back home,
because he has got his NDP training from 12 noon till 7pm? then i was busy buzzing around my outlet.
dun really have the chance to speak to him, even before i sleep, i cant hear his voice)):
im gonna surprise him by waking up later @ 5am to wake that sleepyhead.
dunno if i am able to do so, but if i can, i think he will be very touched.
that sweetheart of mine's bday coming le. dunno what i wanna get for him also.still thinkkkkkking.
mother's day?
guess i would be giving my mum few hundreds, & not forgetting getting myself a prada wallet!!
i have been eyeing for one that i saw! damn nice. chanel bag would be up next in july during the italy trip!((:
i cant wait to own my fav items!((:
babyboy! im missing you! MUACKS.love you always.

you be the prince & i will be the princess((:

2010-04-22T21:20:00.002+08:00

went to HQ for training today with regards to our new system.
& thanks to the stupid heavy traffic jam that makes me late to meet joanne for breakfast. LOLS.
yayeee! had HOTCAKES for breakfast is one of the coolest thing on earth, cause it simply rocks!
training was still rather okay other than the very cold aircon inside the room, everything was fun! my trainer is really fun de, sobu hui hen wu liao for my lesson((:

had japanese food for lunch before continuing mugging!
LOLS. not really mug la, more of like figuring out how to use the stupid system.
ended it around 6 plus, then went walking around with the girls.
crazy one lor! went diaso, bought the egg tarts which really taste heavenly!
came home in cabbie, cause its raining like crazy!)):

after eating my dinner, here i am sitting infront of my lappy,
thinking of what i should blog today.
been thru many beautiful months with my beloved baby, thank you for always standing right there for me.
ever since he has booked in, he has changed alot. he became more sensitive towards my feelings & of course he has learnt to be very understanding.
he bought me a necklace & also a wonderful winnie the pooh! heehee, together with two very lovely cakes.
very lazy to post the pictures of them, but i wanna take with baby first then post can? LOLS. will update real soon, im getting tired le!

what is the best thing to describe one being used?

2010-04-05T23:13:00.005+08:00

its been quite sometime since i last blogged.

many things happen recently.

suddenly, it just makes me feel that human beings are really evil.

i dare to say that im completely a different me now, because I have really gone thru alot and done alot of thinking.

i just want to tell you that i really do not understand whats the reason behind why you wanna lie about your new home when you din even rent it, you BOUGHT it! is it really so hard to let us know? and your renovation company, why use other people's name? because you know about your bad reputation in this market? that no one believes you already? you USED me. thats all i could say. im utterly disappointed in you and shame on you that you are a Christian. when you have the money, just hope that you will think about the suppliers, because they help you with their own pocket money, yet you do not want to return to them then make them so miserable. So what if you are telling everyone that you are selling clothes now? everyone thinks that you are just faking it because F can be own boss, also you support! =.= thats damn bloody obvious. all and all, im just damn F***ing disappointed!

everything is alright at work now.

shocking new from buddy, but its promised to be kept as a secret.

spoken to marcus today about things thats going on around me.

heard his advices, but also dunno whether i should do it or not. i really sometimes hate myself, because i always cant get things down the proper way and the way that i wan it to be, i always make myself so stress, so tired. work already, all the money just goes to my family yet i cant really get to spend it on other things.i admit, im really tired out! HELP ME! I NEED A BREAK TERRIBLY!

MEETING ALVIN.DERRICK.SENGHOE SOON!((:

& ELAINE TOO! MISSES HER LIKE CRAZY!((:

IM MISSING YOU LIKE CRAZY!

YOU ARE THE REASON I BREATHE BOY!

I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY!

whats worth my time?

2010-03-21T21:55:00.003+08:00

okay. great!something's wrong with this stupid blogger because i just cant seemed to get my photos posted into this.

will post it in fb then!

today he book in again liao.

i know he seemed to be very sad. me too, but i told him to endure.

days will surely pass very fast de la. hahahahas! dun worry((:

i cant seemed to be bothered with things at work, im getting sick and tired of things there.

at times, its more of the people there.

targets.

rubbish.

arguments.

like taking one salary, doing 10 people job like that. at times, i really feel extremely tired.

feel like going back for my studies again.

but my family?

i really dunno how to choose.

i dunno what i wanna do now... should i just continue slogging myself out, or should i allow myself to lead a better life by pampering myself a little bit more?

can someone teach me what to do?

TANQINGXIANG-YOUAREBEINGMISSED&LOVED!SEEYOUTHISFRIDAY!

thats when i love you.

2010-03-16T23:35:00.002+08:00

8th day of his enlistment.

today was a horrible day.

although i finished work today at 9.40pm..

but i was really tired out with all the follow ups calls.

tired out of fighting for my targets like crazy! LOLS.

i really dun wanna lose out in anything.

hmmm, anyways, soon, i think i would be able to see my dearest!

hahahahas. missing him like crazy and lately really very stress.

im going thru all my hardest times alone yet im hanging on because i really dun wan him to worry while he is inside NS.

im really hanging on very hard. whenever i felt like giving up, i just tell myself, i cant.

family stress.

work stress.

its really something which not all can understand.

but i just tend to tell myself that tomorrow would be better.

yeah~ i appear to be fine, but im not.

family just kept asking for money one after another. im really broke le. how am i able to give it to you all?

could somebody advice me what i should do?

i seriously dunno)):

2moredays.

imwaitingforyoutocomeback.

i need your loving hands to come & pick me up((:

2010-03-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

7th day of his enlistment((:

today was a war day.

completely tired out after such a looooong day of chasing our targets and achieving our targets and incentives.

everyone put in the same amount of effort.

so there is nobody who should be blamed for not putting effort or etc etc.

hahahahas. anyways. im really shagged enough!

had supper just now.damn full now.

im so gonna sleep soon! really very tired.

so happy because i can still hear his voice! hee hee. miss him really alot lor, heard from him that he is eating well inside the camp, because his food was damn good one lor. moreover, he is going to swim tomorrow at

his camp! hahahas! dunno if he will ever know something..... IM MISSING YOU MY DEAREST TAN QING XIANG!((:

MUACKSMUACKSMUACKSMUACKS. I LOVE YOU!

tonight im fallen and i cant get up.

2010-03-15T00:14:00.004+08:00

6th day of his enlistment.

ended work at 7pm today. finally the outlet target and my personal targets are all positive((:

its a good news for me and ANNA-BELLE.

met up with ah yee after work today.

ate FREE meal & FREE drink today. because of BENG HUAT COFFEE STALL, and my aunt who have just won 4D, so she treated me and liyu to eat western food and our drinks are standard, foc, because its our family business.

then after that to my place to watch transformer.

yeah, its very funny.

and her scars on her knees, sibeii happening! applied the medications for her, and she was screaming like pig!

now still chatting with her at my place and yeah, gonna sleep soon.

goodnight world((:

and most importantly, goodnights my dear! muacks.i love you!

dont watch the clock, do what it does. keep going!

2010-03-14T00:23:00.005+08:00

5th dayof his enlistment.

im starting to get used to life without him around.

starting to learn how to be independent.

but i really misses him alot.

today is saturday, alot of people, busy buzzy the whole day((:

thank god! i manage to chase back the several targets which i am lacked off and im really trying very hard le. hubbs knows that im lacking in my targets, he also knows that i couldnt concentrate doing my work and achieving things which i want to. but rest assure babyboy, im working hard for you((:

supper was fantastic with mummy annabelle and ahzhu!

thanks for the wonderful supper together and the laughters really makes me felt happier, because i was rather down the whole day w/o his messages.)):

tomorrow is another sunday.

which means, knock off at 7pm.

catching up with ah yee tomorrow, hopefully able to pour my sorrows to her.

but surprisingly, i no longer have the feel of crying.

because i know, im able to endure till he book out((: ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE.

and the funniest things was, my ah yee fell down while cycling on the road during her chalet.

joke of the year lor.

she isnt a PRO cyclist, but is definitely not a AVERAGE cyclist, because other than jialat,there isnt any other words to describe her skills in cycling! LOLS.

okays. its time for bed now. i promise i will get enough slp and take MRT tml!((:

tanqingxiang, you know how much im missing you?

im missing you dearly.

i just wanna say~i love you.

winnie will hang on, for you, anything i will.

nothing else but waiting for you~

2010-03-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

3rd & 4th day of his enlistment.

unreasonable mother. im really very stressed up with this family of mine.

no matter how much i earn, its just not enough to cover their expenses.

in fact, the reason why i work is mainly to help the family tide over all the hard times.

but it just doesnt seem to be working lor.

if i ever have a choice, do you think i prefer to work or study? hais. sometimes, i really dunno what the hack they are actually thinking lor. everytime only think about themselves. -.-"

during his enlistment, im really grateful to have these two people standing by me 24/7

marcus

liyu((:

luckily with them around, my life wont seem to be very empty.

and also, i will not anyhow think because they really encouraged me alot.

but of course, stress is still pertaining to work and my stupid family issues. i really had enough! i just wanna give up sooooo much la!

have been behaving myself because besides work place,

there is no other place i would be going to. LOLS.

and tomorrow is gonna be a super long day because its SATURDAY. and yeah, its usually busy buzzy!

mr marcus cheong and ms. toh li yu! i will never forget to spam messages too your phone and i just wanna say THANK YOU! thanks for always being there for me, even for a shoulder to cry on, i know you guys are just 8 digits away!

I LOVE YOU GUYS((:

& of course, not forgetting, i love tan qing xiang the most((:

wait for you((:

2010-03-10T23:33:00.003+08:00

2nd day of his enlistment)):

everything's getting fine for him inside i guess? its just that they just kept kena bullied by the people inside. quite tough though, but that silly boy would go thru this because i know for me, anything he will((:

the people there actually confiscated his charger and now, he cant charge his phone. dunno whether his phone would be able to last or not. im very scared that his hp cannot last, till the day he book out. this would mean that we cant chat on the phone liao)):

been working whole day today.

dunno why, i just prefer to go to work now, at least, the times passes faster than expected.

still got few more days, then i can see him liao.

im working really hard everyday to not make him disappointed, by turning in earlier, but eating well.

the very first thing i wanna do when he book out is to hug him like crazy!!!

babyboy, i miss you! i will work hard to show you that for this relationship, i would put in the same amount of effort to do everything it takes to maintain this((:

would still need to work tomorrow.

have to slp in early le.

goodnights babyboy((: waiting for you to message or call me tomorrow((:

muacks. I LOVE TAN QING XIANG!

and i would promise, i will not anyhow think, will not do anything stupid.

will behave myself till you book out((:

hahahahas..loveyou millions!

when things are meant to be, they are meant to be.

2010-03-10T01:27:00.002+08:00

1st day of his enlistment.

feeling really horrible, dunno how to pass time when he is inside.

even though he called, to tell me that he is fine, asked me not to worry etc etc, i still cant seem to relax and treat it as if nothing has happened.

he seems to be alright, but i really dunno whether deep down inside of him, is he fine.

i still got millions of days to go.

still got work. how do i pass the time?

if i said that i din cry, will you believe?

time really pass very very slowly without him around.

i have really put in my every best to stay strong, and just wait with patience and being independent.

my ah yee accompanied me the whole day.

thank you very much! i know you are worried that i would break down, but i promise i will continue to stay strong and wait.

marcus also spoken to me, tried to tell me alot of rubbish and i really thank those people who stood by me worrying that i would break down or something would happen to me.

wo hui stay strong de(:

still got nine more days!! gambeta winnie! you can do it de((:

let the photos do the talking.

2010-03-02T23:43:00.003+08:00

i wanna tell my babylove who would be going for his NS soon,

not to worry about me, because i know i can make it thru.

i will always wait for your calls like how you wait for me to knock off from work.

days with you are really amazing!

taken our photo shoots and i promise, baby, i will wait for you~

i know i did said to let the photos do the talking,

but babylove is going inside the army liao, i really do not have much time left with him.

i really will miss him.

9th march 2010.

think back, its really so fast, so fast we already together for so long le. this sunday is mummy's birthday and i agreed to treat her to ah yat abalone to celebrate.

at the same time, its also a farewell party for babylove.

hubby((: please know that i will wait for you.

no matter how hard this route is gonna be, i will take them, because i chose it the way i wan it to be(:

please promise me to be extra careful when you are inside, and please please please, call me everyday to tell me that you are safe((: muacks!

I LOVE TAN QING XIANG!

he has been staying at my place, and everyday sending me to work and pick me up from work.

so sweet right? hahahahahahas!

(:

2010-02-24T22:09:00.002+08:00

hellos! its been awhile since i last blog right.
basically, im still alive, working everyday like a bull, so i seldom have time to blog.
dun even wish that i would come here to blog that often as in the past, maybe after baby boy has booked in to his NS then i have more time? HAHAHAH im now spending time with him, with him sleeping over at my place((:

see you! dun wan talk le((:

2010-01-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

hello people!

yeah yeah, i know alot of you must be wondering, eh? winnie MIA ah?

but i never la. been really BUSY at work lately and almost everyday when i reached home, i would be really tired out and got no time to do other things, but just wan all of you know that you all are not forgotten, please please please continue reading because i will still continue blogging and i wont let this blog die. LOLS. i hope i could?

hmmm, had a nice 3rd month anniversary mini celebration with my love.

had really alot of fun and caught up with the missed out movie ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS.

oh god! they are so ^#&#$&$*@* cute!

really SIBEII cute lor, dunno how to comment bout the movie but the songs were really nice.

and watching movie with love really rocks because i have a movable pillow to lie on! HAHAHAHAS :D

really damn tiring these days and yeah): the sad news is that i would be transferred soon, to TAKASHIMAYA.

if you all wanna buy LVs, can call me help ba? maybe got discount, and I DUN WORK IN LV -.-"

please stay tune for more updates,

up till now, I JUST WANNA SAY & CONFIRM, IM STILL ALIVE.-.-"

2010-01-06T23:36:00.002+08:00

my blog's almost dead -.-

dun really have time to blog because everyday im busy working and i really have no time to rest!

millions of programs coming up.

supposed to be attending company's Dinner & Dance, but they gave stupid reasons which in the end, we dun have to go -.- its really dumb la, i dunno how to explain.

up next would be my BTT((:

woah! im so damn looking forward to this, because i have finally find time to actually register and book for it((: LOLS.

quite dumb actually.

after BTT would be my 3rd month anniversary with THE WORLD'S SWEETEST HUBBY!

really am glad and grateful that i have found him and i have never let him off again((: he has always been here for me. i know, and i am really grateful that after going thru so much for the past 7 years, we have really made it.

TANQINGXIANG,

I WAN YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.

and please stop attempting to bite me! -.-

thanks for all the joyous moments you have brought into my life.

most importantly, thanks for making my dream come true!((:

I will start learning:

how to stop pinching you
how to stop whacking you when you do stunts which are completely stupid and retarded.
how to stop scolding you stupid, when the fact is that you are(:
how to make you paiseh infront of alot alot ALOT of people!
how to make you FOREVER MINE((:

PLEASE be mine forever okays?

because i know, for us, anything we will(:

muacks.imlovingyoulikethereisnotomorrow!

stay close, dun go.

i love tan qing xiang!

2009-12-31T17:37:00.003+08:00

i have a very very rare photo to show all of you.

LOLS. reason being, we have never taken photo together as a whole family.

lols. sibeii cute hor! its taken during my daddy's bday,

25122009((:

my sis, me, my mum, my dad, and my BROTHER?

LOLS. we have never taken pictures with him around ehs.

the cake is bought by my love((: he bought it for my father as his present.

and yeah, that day was consider fun? because my brother was filled with snow flakes as we sprayed at him and his frens and my aunt as well. LOLS.

would be uploading my sister's bday pictures real soon((:

stay tuned!

2009-12-31T00:02:00.003+08:00

have been busy working lately(:

and yeah i admit that i have lesser and lesser time for love and for millions of things(:

work is quite smooth? except for certain people who really piss me off someday. LOL.

well, other than work,there is nothing else le.

just wanna thank love for being so sweet and accompanying me every single day, picking me up from work and then go and eat with me, afraid that i would be sick and hungry etc etc, im really grateful that i have such a good and nice boyfren(: thank you god, for always being there for me(:

soon its going to be 2010, and it would also soon be the day which my love's going to book in to the army):

i really very scared wor. im also going genting for company D&D,for four days, cannot see my love. i know i surely would miss him alot! really hope so much he could go with me lor. but too bad he cant):

there is nothing else i wanna blog, just looking ans hoping that the time would go really very very slowly! because i dun wish my babyboy to go into the army so soon):

67daysbeforelovebookinforarmy):

im afraid! imafraidtolosehimmorethananything!

2009-12-23T01:28:00.000+08:00

busy buzzy working everyday until 9pm)):

2009-12-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

hello folks! well, i think, lets trace back to the 16th of dec '09(wednesday)

my first day at YNJP as CSC.

hmmmm, everyone there was good? they are all quite friendly except for some((:

ANNABELLE is the one whom is teaching me all the operations things, and all the other things at the counter.

its like a receptionist, but it is also like a customer service kind of things which i dunno how to explain to you all.

i learnt of things really quite fast i think?

but then i will continue to work hard because there are still MILLIONS of things to learn.

17thdec09(thursdays)&18thdec09(friday)

thurs, nothing must to do, must doing the routine items which i did on wed.

just that she taught me how to communicate with cust etc. not much that i could reveal because its actually the company's Private and Confidential informations, after which, attended steven(xiongsheng)'s birthday party because he has FINALLY turned 21((: din manage to talk much with him because on the same day, is my auntie's birthday which we have arrange to go surprise her with a cake and her fav, salmon with xuanjin uncle and liyu ah yee((:

*pics will be posted soon((:*

friday, got additional things to do, which is to learn how to stock take as the stocks comes on every friday?

other than that, everything is exactly the same le wor.

19thdec09(saturday)

had a training session with JENNY YAP today at our outlet, and i have finally been asked to bear target.

starting is only very little, and i have manage to hit my target the next day((: LOLS. quite funny though, but im sure that i would continue to be aggressive with my targets, and also would not just hit my personal one, also my outlet target! because every cust that comes, we have hee hee-secret!**

but really very busy day.

20thdec09(sunday)

HAPPY2NDMONTHANNIVERSARYBABYBOY!

YES! its our anniversary again- had our dinner after my work at 7pm @ sushi tei.

HAD MILLIONS OF SALMONS.

but i forgotten to take pictures because i have been working whole day and super duper tired.

and the good thing is that love has been fetching me since the very first day i start work, he always fetch me after my work at my outlet. im really super touched by all the things he has done for me-so afraid to lose him lor!)):

these few days, both of us has been busying working, hence we got lesser time for one another le.

plus i would be going away for the company d&D at genting, which means, even lesser time.

he going inside army le. dunno why, i felt like crying everytime i thought of how much time we have left with each other before the real test comes. before he actually booked in.

sometimes, how i wish that day would never ever comes. just like 2012, the world would end.

but i also dun wan the world to end because i have yet enjoyed enough my times and my days with love!

TANQINGXIANG,PLEASEKNOWTHATILOVEYOUANDIALWAYSWILL!

yes, im afraid of losing you, i will earn alot of money and our savings would surely be enough for watever our dreams would be in the near future and no matter wat your decision would be, i would respect and i would do it!

FORYOU,ANYTHINGIWOULD!((:

21stdec09&22nddec09(mon&tues)

monday was damn bloody busy and hectic because anna was off that day and thus,

only left with me and tracy.

its my first day meeting her, hence, she actually reminded me things which anna has taught me,

and just kept asking me to practice them.

taught me to call more customers and how to serve or talk to customers, or tackle them.

alot to learn from the two of them and im really grateful that this is the outlet i am in.

because i have really learnt alot. MORE TO GO and i will work hard for my next month's target!((:

GAMBETA!

as for today? not much really. three of us working together, so still quite okays.((:

HAHAHAHAHAHAS.

tired of course, BUT TML IS MY OFF DAY! YAYEE!!((:

post again tml bahs((: goodnights folks! love my dearest boyfren-tanqingxiang!

2009-12-20T17:51:00.002+08:00

its 2nd month with my beloved LAOPO.
Times with her is just so wonderrfull((:
i got nothing to describe this relationship because she is just so PERFECT!
hmm.....
wondering hor..am i the best to her anot leh? HAHAHA!
cause to me, she cannot be replaced and she is already the BEST le((:
HOW TO FIND?! hahaha!
LAOPO! Please please please continue stay close with me and dont go away.
PROMISE...
i will love you like how i taking care of you((:
Dont worry too much that your laogong will leave you.
Cause he will never ever leave you behind in this world CAUSE..
loving you is GREAT((:
you mean the whole world to me, u noe?
heehee...
anyway LAOPO,
HAPPY2NDMONTHANNIVERSARY!
MUACK((:
584201314

2009-12-15T20:59:00.003+08:00

i told you bout me and love celebrating our pre-anniversary?

hahahahas! today is PART I nia,

really had a great day today because my love FINALLY!! FINALLY PASSED HIS FTT!

my gosh, you can never imagine how damn fcuking happy i am la!

that stupid love still wanna trick me lor, step one stupid sad face to show me that he failed,

but luckily his conscience is clear, he cant bear to bluff me!

he told me he passed in the end!

LOLS!

i nearly screamed inside BBDC la, woahkao, so malu!

but then i was really happy! LOLS.

i kissed him and really dunno how to express my joy la! just kept hugging him and kissing him.((:

congrats love! you are so wonderful!((:

train down to city hall from BBDC,

nowadays de teenagers damn inconsiderate lor! got one pregnant lady went inside the train, yet no one stood up to offer their seats!

she stood all the way from JE to tanjong pagar i think, so kelian la! my gosh!)):

are all singaporeans like this? but im sure that me and love wont! we will rang our seats to those who need it more than us((:

look at stupid love, we took this photo while thinking where to go after having our Japanese food dinner.

he's so fcuking cute can?! in public, he actually did this. LOLS.

im loving you more and more already my dear! please continue to be stupid, to be funny, and to come up with all sorts of stupid ideas like

buying me a super huge balloon that wont burst easily, and made me carry it all the way from city hall back home!

everyone inside the train just kept staring at me, thru out the whole journey man!

and yeah, the stupid train reported the stops wrongly -.-

like stupid lor, lousy de SMRT. my gosh!

took alot of photos with love, and i just simply love today!

thank you laogong for the ah pooh's balloon!

and also doing your best to make me happy and doing your best for the FTT.

i really dunno how to say how i really feel, but then, just very very happy!((:

i have never felt so happy before.

really thank you. IM LOVING YOU MORE AND MORE.

REALLY LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS!

I PROMISE TO WORK HARDER FOR THE SAKE OF YOU AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE TO STAY WITH ME.

TO MAKE MY DAY AND CONTINUE TO BE MY BELOVED LAOGONG!((:

I WAN THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW THAT I, WINNIE NG IS REALLY FCUKING FORTUNATE TO BE WITH MY LAOGONG, TANQINGXIANG, AND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I WILL CONTINUE TO SHOWER HIM WITH MY LOVE CARE AND CONCERN.

AND I ALSO WILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL I HAVE, TILL DEATH DO US PART!((:

WO AI CHEN QING XIANG!

2009-12-15T00:57:00.002+08:00

late pictures!

starting work on wed, which means, getting lesser and lesser time to peii love.

he is also gonna help his dad until late night.

at least, when both of us has jobs, we see income coming in, and we dun have to worry about spending so much.

love brought me a ANNA NUCCI's heels today, because wed starting work, and we need to wear black cover shoes,

so that love brought me to buy, and clips as well because i need to tie up my hair, with RED COLOURED lipsticks which i have always thought them as super ugly color for lipsticks! my gosh!)):

gonna go m HQ to collect my uniform, yeah, they have uniforms! like triad lors! all black de! HAHAHAHAHAS. my fav. color lor!

took my hand phone to fixed at JP's new Sony Ericsson repair phone de shop lor, because the initial plan was mahjong at my place, and thanks. GREAT AND SUPER THANKS TO TWO STUPID IDIOTIC FELLOW WHO PUT US AEROPLANE SO FCUKING LAST MINUTE! i guess i dun have to mention their big big names here to spoil my mood. i was so fcuking eager to win their money can?! DOTS! and in the end, they ran away. probably because me and love has scare them away? LOLS.((:

then have to peii love go FTT tomorrow afternoon after collecting my uniform at 10am -.-

and love, i have full confidence that you would pass, these days and weeks de hard work which you have put in, i really can see them.

if really fail again, i also speechless liao, then i would scold BBDC for you((: LOLS.

jiayous okays((: gonna sleep early today otherwise you cannot concentrate fully tomorrow!

MUACKSMUACKSMUACKS. i know you would do it de! because-for me, anything you will! JIAYOUS, and all the best. i would be right here for you((: I WOULD STILL LOVE YOU-WHETHER OR NOT YOU PASS YOUR FTT, I WONT DUMP YOU FOR 8 PACTS DE! hahahahahahahahahas.

okay folks, its time to peii my love to sleep now, more posts comin up! especially bout tomorrow's post anniversary programs and sibeii happening de stuffs wor, must stay tune ah!((: goodnights world

2009-12-14T02:00:00.003+08:00

went my uncle's place today at woodlands,

dad drove us there, me and two monsters,

went to help my uncle with his computer and the stupid printer which cannot be installed.

yet when i went there, its EASILY installed. -.-

walked to amiralty MRT to meet love,

silly love say he wanna bring me to JP, so we took a train to JE, then train to boon lay again((:

love bought me a necklace of the letter 'X' then, a pair of earing, which has the letter 'Q' & 'X' each on one side.

LOL. that guy practically's afraid that people would chase me away lor.

and sweetest of all, he bought me a fully and nicely bloom red rose((: ITS REALLY SUPER NICE.

i will post the pictures of the various things which he bought soon((:

really enjoyed my day today. LOLS. except for bringing two stupid HAMSTERS on kang's behalf to love's place.

because audris brought two hamsters to work and we have to be troubled to TAKE THEM HOME. -.-

luckily they din die, because we were so afraid that they would die, and when we reached love's place, we just dumped it into the cage, din care liao((:

catch some rest inside love's room because i was completely exhausted!)):

sometimes, i really dunno how to express my thoughts to love, all i wanna say is im really grateful to have him, who always go extra, without complaining. he would rather sacrifice time for me than any other people lor. really damn fortunate to have him!((: i dunno wat else sweet things i could say, but all i wanna say is in the song-mayiloveyou.

my family going to genting tomorrow except for me and my daddy.

peace at last, the only thing is that i got houseworks to DO! oh my gosh! going out tomorrow again, because i wanna look for job, and have gone for various interview, my salary getting higher and higher, but i dunno which one to choose from.

sickening lor! MILLIONS of people's birthday coming up steven's 21st & my aunt's birthday.

then followed by daddy's birthday, OUR ANNIVERSARY. MILLIONS OF OCCASIONS. need to start saving!)):

going to get my phone repair tomorrow, cause it spoil. ASS. okays, im gonna go play my mahjong now((: will win alot for sure!((:

its complicated.

2009-12-12T22:42:00.003+08:00

I SWEAR I HAD A SUPER TIRING DAY TODAY):

woke up around 2 plus today because i slept late ytd watching some hongkong drama.

met love downstairs my place after his work, brought my sister and baby monster out.

bus to CJ GLS building because i wanted to get my SE phone repair.

but then, its stupid enough, because they have shifted out and will reopen at JP on the 14dec.

walked all the way to CJ GLS building because the bus we took dropped opposite.

climb a stupid overhead bridge, then walk SO DAMN LONG LONG LONG de road, then reach.

reach liao, that ah bu neh neh security guard told us that they have shifted out already.

GOD! pissed off completely lor. damn tiring, and we have to walk BACK! waste my life!

walked to IMM building to find for UNO cards for baby monster,

looked around, cant really find the one which she wants and practically, every one of them are so damn expensive la!

93849274295374 -.-

had our lunch cum dinner there before walking to JE to find the UNO cards.

din manage to buy it because she din wan them in the end. -.-

bus home((:

went to clementi with love after putting my stupid SE phone at home,

went to be loan sharks because love's fren yuwai owe him money, hence he wanna go his house to take them.

still got adrain whom is still owing him $250, but dunno if he will pay up anot lor.

walked home after having my dinner at LJS,

tired out.

having MILLIONS of problems these days with my family.

it really affects my mood even when im with love.

i tend to lose temper much easier than before cause my fcuking family members damn kaopei.

im getting sick and tired.

i blame myself for such family? wat else i could do to stop them from bothering me and giving me stresses?

even how useless or helpful i am,

they are never grateful.

i gave money monthly to family.

i bought them things like sofa, brought them out to eat etc.

when my fcuking bro is inside the camp,

i worked hard for this family.

i gave them my hard earned money without grumbling.

haiishs, they would never understand me-

IHATEWHOIAMSOMETIMES.

IJUSTWANNABEME!

WHYCANTI?

luckily, i have a super understanding and good boyfriend, who stood by me 24/7

who went all the way out just to help me,

and always telling me that he dun blamed me for things which i have done.

i dunno how else i could thank him, thank him for always being there. sometimes, im really ureasonable, but he has never blamed me for it. he gave me life like a fairy tale.

and I have also become a little princess ever since i was with him.

he teaches me things which i dunno,

and cheered me up when i was down,

he irritates me when he knew i was mad,

and says sorry even if he wasnt at fault.

he is just so perfect.

THANK YOU LOVE! MUACKS.

2009-12-11T02:46:00.003+08:00

let these pictures do the talkings,

i felt really very hurt,

i made him cry again.

im sorry love!

2009-12-10T20:30:00.002+08:00

im feeling so fcuking jealous over a little girl!

my gosh!

why am i feeling like that?

is it because im too afraid to lose him? i dunno how to explain this.

but im just AFRAID TO LOSE YOU MORE THAN ANY OTHER THINGS!

i dunno why am i born with such "GREAT" parents

2009-12-10T19:48:00.003+08:00

seriously, sometimes i hate god, i hate to admit to fate, to destiny.

i hate to admit that my parents are like that.

i dunno how to go about explaining wat had happened just now, all i know was

my parents are fcuking unreasonable.

wat have i offended them in life, or in my previous life?

they are so fcuking bias! my brother did not give a single cent to the family, contributing nothing, not a cent,

after POP, he asked my parents for money, for $50, or more, they will just give.

then wat bout me? is this even fair?! i gave allowance every month,

but where have all those money gone to?

when i cared for them, they have never praised me for anything.

never in their entire life, they have ever praise me! whether i did well, did perfectly well,

i WAS NEVER PRAISED.

yet when my brother did well, my mum would go around telling everyone how well he did etc etc.

are girls so so useless?

have i been born the wrong sex? should i be male instead of female?!

im lost.

do i deserve better treatments than this?

i should be praised! i should be the better one!

but it doesnt seem so.

giving money to brother is because he worked very hard in NS,

hence when he comes out, i have to give in?!

din i worked hard enough to help support the family?!

wat is fcuking wrong with them? who will ever know how i feel in the family.

i hate to call myself, MISS NG! i rather being MRS TAN.

i hope to leave this home as soon as i can, i hope to marry off this minute! i dun need your support, but you need!

without me, you all can cope with the expenses at home!?

use your brains! I HATE YOU ALL. cant you all just take a minute to know more, to understand more bout me?!

im nobody's child.

picked up from rubbish chute.